Beyond Reflection

ROSA LOUISE PARKS | 1913-2005: Good-bye, Mrs.

2005-10-30T20:09:00.000-05:00

ROSA LOUISE PARKS | 1913-2005: Good-bye, Mrs. Parks

BY CASSANDRA SPRATLING
FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER

When Rosa Parks refused to get up, an entire race
of people began to stand up for their rights as
human beings.

Her refusal to give up her bus seat to a white
man was a simple act that took extraordinary
courage in Montgomery, Ala., in 1955. It was a place
where black people had no rights that white people
had to respect. It was a time when racial
discrimination was so common, many blacks never
questioned it.

At least not out loud.

But then came Rosa Louise Parks.

Jim Crow had met his match.

Parks, the mother of the civil rights movement,
died about 7:20 p.m. Monday at her home in the
Riverfront Apartments in Detroit.

"She went away peacefully," said her longtime
friend and spokesperson, Elaine Eason Steele. Steele
and Parks' physician, Dr. Sharon Oliver, were
with Parks when she died, Steele said.

continue

Quick Survey

2005-10-30T19:53:00.000-05:00

Sometimes these are fun, sometimes they can be stupid. But I took one anyway.

Name: Tara (tah-rah)
Magick/Public Name: Don't have one...
Location: CT
Full Moon or Dark Moon: Full
Read?(If yes, what book(s) are you reading now): I'm currently in the midst of Book of Shadows by Phyliis Curott. I'm also in the middle of Spirit of the Witch by Raven Grimmassi, Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher, Ph.D. and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I read when I get the chance as my schedule is quite busy. :)

Favorites
Color: Tough. I like dark and deep blues, purples and greens. black is good too. :)
Mythological/metaphysical creature: Haven't studies them all. But I like faeries and angels
Pantheon of Gods: Egyptian
Time in history: not sure
Animal: Not sure... I love dogs...
Incense: Egyptian musk...but I strongly prefer oils...
Herb: Not sure...
Stone/crystal: Nut sure...
Beverage: Milk ;D
Food: Not sure...
Form of divination: Not sure...But I do something similar to tarot..it's an Egyptian form of divination...
Music genre: New age (But I love everything)
Movie: Not sure...leaning towards Arthur Miller's The Crucible
Jewelry: Not sure...

Pagan/Wicca/Witch/Other: Just Eclectic.
Solitary/Coven/Magickal Partner: Solitary. Wouldn't mind a group though...
Video/Computer/Board games: Prefer video games. But I'm always finding myself playing The Sims 2. ;D
Tatoos/Piercings: Just the basic one on each ear lobe.
Any Past Lives: Not currently aware of any info about them
Light/Dark: Dark
Madien/Mother/Crone: What's this asking, what I identify myself with or what I prefer to work with or what? Depends on what mood I'm in...
Son/Hero/Father (Child/Father/Spirit): Spirit
Solar/Lunar (day or night person): Depends on the mood.
Most magickal item you posses?: Hmm... never thought of that.
Half Full/Empty: Half Full
Democrat/Republican/Other: Other
Wand/Athame: N/A
Are you male/female: Female
Do you prefer male/female: Depends on what mood I'm in...
Robed/Skyclad: Robed
Patron/Matron Deities: N/A
Last time you cast a spell/ritual/prayer: I'm always in prayer. Last time I casted? About a week ago. Last time I did a ritual? ....

Happy Birthday

2005-10-24T19:05:00.000-04:00

Should I honestly really be happy about getting older? I really don't want to get old. But they say you're as young as you feel right? Then why should a person who likes to get out and live life to the fullest be afraid of getting old? I have no idea.

But yeah, just a quick note that it is my birthday and I don't have many plans but finish up some work for college. Isn't that sad? And what's even sadder is that not one person has tried to tempt me with a drink. lol Not that I'm really that interested in getting drunk, but a drink or two shouldn't hurt. lol People must sense that I am neither easily persuable or vulnerable to peer pressure. In a way, I think it's very funny.

But later tonight, there is going to be a celebration. My friends leaked out something about a cake, and some red juice (a silly drinking thing that as small children, we'd refer to certain alcoholic drinks as red juice, the only thing is, they don't drink either). lol So what do we do? We litterally drink red juice. lol

It sucks having a birthday on a Monday.

"I Was Just About To Call You..."

2005-10-03T15:38:00.000-04:00

It is believed that you will know when people will call or you will know when you pick up other people's thoughts.

Not me.

This has happend on more than one occasion where I've called people and they say they were just about to call me. It's happend so often lately, I've often wondered if people are lying. And it's not just that they were about to call me, but it's also about similar topics. the most recent happening about an hour ago where I called a friend of mine and told her that I found out when self-defense class starts and that I plan on going and if she was interested in coming with me. Then she said she just saw the sign and that she was planning on going.

I'm thinking that was coincidence.

First Angel Reading

2005-09-22T08:36:00.000-04:00

Man it was interesting. It was the first time I got an angel reading. It was very accurate. I got to know my guardian angel's name. She told me my angel found it amusing because I didn't like the name. Maybe the woman sensed it and it really wasn't the angel talking, who knows?

The experience was quite interesting. The woman mentioned a name and asked what my relationship was with the person. I told her I wasn't aware of any such person, but that I think it's a certain person and that we didn't get along. But after waking up this morning, I'm thinking it was someone else. Perhaps this one person whom I haven't figured their name out yet, but I vaguely recall them being called the name she mentioned. She mentioned seeing sandpaper rubbing against each other.

I was allowed to ask questions but at the time I couldn't think of anything.

She also mentioned about an earlier childhood experience that I completely forgot about. I was told my angel thought it was funny the way I reacted to it. I had to ask my mom if she remembered the experience b/c I didn't. Then she did and I felt a bit on the silly side after realizing what it was. I was just learning how to ride my bike and my dad was teaching me. He wanted me to ride out of the driveway. Our driveway was on a hill and so I went full speed ahead into the street and turned and hit the curb and fell. I don't remember if I hurt myself or not. But I was afraid a car would turn the corner and not see me there. So for a while, I guess that frightend me and I would periodically go in the basement and look at the bike and not ride it. But after a while, I got the courage to do so and I don't mind riding today.

I was also encouraged to be on my Eclectic path as she mentioned that she sees a basket and me taking a little bit of this and that from various religions. Oh yeah, that reminds me, she knew right away that I came for the reading because I wanted spiritual advice. (Usually people would want a reading to know about their love life or when they're going to get their next job). A relative also came through, she said, with a pot of a lot of rich food encouraging me to feed my soul. I knew that too. I didn't expect the relative to come through, but from what I heard about her, it's no surprise.

But yeah, that was about it with a few things thrown in there about love, finances and trust. It was worth it. Of course, if I didn't trust the person I was getting the reading from, I wouldn't have gone to get it. I am quite a picky person and very careful with my money (and for the price I paid, it was good).

Sweet Induglgence

2005-09-10T19:51:00.000-04:00

Sweet Induglgence: Indulging Our Sacred Bodies, Magical Selves
by: Earthen Spirituality Project and Women's Center

“Indulgence” doesn’t always mean bingeing, slacking, or waste. It’s vital we learn to indulge in our emotional needs and physical hungers, the sensual delights and carnal joys, in playing hard... and indulging our gifts, visions, callings and dreams.”
-Jesse Wolf Hardin

Slowly the wood fire heats up the hot tub, sending smoke and steam like a prayer into the sparkling New Mexico sky. Freshly bathed women can be seen brushing each other’s hair and painting one another’s bodies with henna and woad, while a second shift adds aromatic oils before stripping off their clothes to get in. Nearby a group circles barefoot on the ground, grinding cooked herbs on an ancient stone metate, sensing the spirits of those who lived here thousands of years before us. They the same timeless motions that the Old Ones once did, and indulging in many of the same pleasures and treats they enjoyed in their own special day.

The tribal songs of those black haired maidens seems to rise up from the metates themselves, as though released by the magical act of having plants ground on them again. Two sisters return to camp carrying between them a large cloth laden with wild lamb’s quarters, others carrying armloads of wood for the tub and dinner fire. We feel like an ancient and primal tribe ourselves, living intimately with each other and the gifts of this enchanted land. We make polenta, roasted beets and yams with a garlicky nettle cream cheese dip, and serve a huge panful of quelites, a traditional Mexican dish of sautéed wild greens with onion and chile. We pass around bowls full of wild fruits, roasted local pinon nuts, and assorted cheeses both pungent and mild. There are few words spoken besides heartful invocations and deep thanks. Words soon melt down into murmured “mmmmmms” and “yuummmms, ” like the gooey pieces of decadent chocolate cake we hand feed each other.... taking our time chewing, savoring every breath and every bite. (continue)

I myself have always been very cautious when it comes to the advice of others who say that it is okay to indulge. But when I read the suggestions given at the end of the article, it wasn't bad and in fact, I've found I've already done some of these. My favorite was the one about getting up a bit earlier before everyone else and getting the freshness of the early morning air in your pjs. I really love that, especially during the Summer and when it just starts to turn to Autumn. It really is a sacred time and a time to reconnect with the Divine through nature. I also like it when the sun is about to go down too.

I also like the earth and wilderness suggestions too and I've done that sometimes. Grounding and just being outside to get away from it all really helps to cleanse away any negativity that may have built up.

Quiz Time!

2005-09-08T17:58:00.000-04:00

I don't know about anyone else, but taking a quiz or two online every once in a while is fun. :)

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.

In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

You are a Believer

You believe in God and your chosen religion.
Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu..
Your convictions are strong and unwavering.
You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

The last one is not true. I believe people should find the best path for themselves, whether its religious or not as long as others respect the fact that there will be those who disagree... :P

Your Power Color Is Gold

At Your Highest:

You are engrossed in passions that mentally stimulate you.

At Your Lowest:

You seek thrills and neglect what's important in your life.

In Love:

You see dating as adventure and approach it with an open attitude.

How You're Attractive:

You passion for life makes others passionate about you.

Your Eternal Question:

"Am I Having Fun?"

What's Your Power Color?

Psychic Experiences

2005-09-04T11:40:00.000-04:00

Lately I've had some experiences that were totally unintentional. I just started and school and they've been happening a bit more frequently. The first day of classes I remember whenever I went into a class I look to see if I recognize anyone from any of the campus activities days earlier. I recognized this one girl my roomate has spoken to. I sat down about 4 chairs away from her in class. About 20 minutes into the class, the professor is talking about possible majors we would be interested in since a lot of us in the class are undecided. It was then that I had a mini vision. I imagined, for some strange reason, that I was the girl I recognized. I was sitting on the forest floor cross-legged with my red hair laying on my chest on the left side. I had my arms outstretched to reach towards the beautiful deep green leaves of the tall trees. And through the trees I saw the sun shining bright yellow and orange rays.

About 5 minutes after that, she raised her hand in class and admited that she was interested in Enviornmental Studies but didn't know how to pursue it. That shocked me.

And then the day after I was in Sociology class. After about 10 minutes of listening to the professor talk, the number 4 kept going through my mind. And I was thinking to myself, 'Why the hell does the number four keep poping up?'

About 2 minutes after that, the professor told us to get into groups of 4. Well that answered my question.

So two days ago I was thinking, 'Maybe I really am more psychic during the times closest to my menstral cycle' and yesterday I was reading Phyllis Currot's book Book of Shadows and within a few pages, she mentioned that.

How can things like this happen and me say that there is some sort of higher power or higher form of consciousness that is not at work?

Damn, How I've Been Wasting My Time...

2005-08-21T19:37:00.000-04:00

This isn't a spiritual post, but nonetheless:

Don't you just hate when you feel like you're doing all the giving in a relationship and no getting? Simple. So I had a party yesterday. I invited people. One of them said they couldn't RSVP yet they weren't sure yadeyada. Fine. I didn't care. I understand people have things to do and take care of and not everything is definate. The day before the party, I was thinking of calling folks and reminding them. But I said to myself, 'No, if they truly cared, they'd remember to come. I shouldn't have to feel the need to remind people if they were truly my friend'.

I didn't get any last minute phone calls. I asumed they were coming. *check*

So the party comes rolling by the next day. I'm having a good time with the people that do care, but I'm wondering, 'Whatever happend to so-and-so? Now that I think about it, I haven't gotten a phone call from her yesterday or today.' So it gets dark and people eventually start leaving.

No phone call the day of. *check*

So the next day rolls around (today). I get invited to go hang out. The person accompanying the other is the one that never made the call the day before or the day of the party. So I say to myself, 'Okay. If they really cared they'll probably apologize or say something about it.'

Boy was I wrong. Not only was it just plain rude, but stupid. How hard was it to pick up the phone and say, "Yes, I can go," or "I'm sorry, no I can't"? How long does it take, two minutes?

No phone call the day after *check*

I mean, I can be forgiving when And to top it off, the usual energy shifts away from me to the other two while, "chillin' out". What the hell kind of friendship is this? I mean, is it not apparent to you that I would like to hear a little something on the party you were invited to? Aren't you interested in asking how it went?

It's either she forgot because she was busy, or "forgot" because she didn't care.

A true friendship to me is someone in which you can hang out and talk to regularly and confide in when it comes to things that matter to the heart. If it's only about finding someone else to hang with on random occasion, then I don't want to be apart of that. It seems some people only care abut themselves 24/7 and don't at least willingly donate a few of their minutes to someone else. I don't understand. Throughout this "friendship", I've been the one doing the calling. I've been the one to approach and say 'hey'. I've even confided on a few things on a few occasions. I've done my part. Whatever happend to yours? The only time I've heard something from her (like her actualy approaching me and saying something) were during the school day, mainly around lunch. We'd laugh and crack jokes. I actually thought there was a friendship starting that can be continued outside of school.

That only makes me feel like I'm available for entertainment purposes only. And even so, it's not that much entertainment. Thanks for the compliment anyway. It's as if these kinds of people only want friends when they're ready. Whether it be hanging out or parties. I don't think such people are ready for sincere friendships. As a Scorpio, I don't like shallow and fakeness. I look for something deep, and if it comes with it, intense. I don't like the fluffiness and games. These "games" aren't fun and are for the most part a waste of time. Specifically my time.

Tarot: Not Draining?

2005-08-19T09:58:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been finding lately that doing tarot (or my similar divination set, The Way of Cartouche by Murry Hope) isn't draining me anymore. It feels as if I can literally do it all day and not be tired. What's the secret, you ask?

I have absolutely no clue.

I do feel a little more "in-tune" with my spirituality and my path. Maybe I've grown a little more in it, who knows? Maybe the answer will come to me at a better time. But that's another thing I've noticed lately.

Artist Discovered!

2005-08-18T17:24:00.000-04:00

I recently discovered an artist by the name of Nene Thomas. I thought I was in love with Amy Brown, Rob Carlos or Jessica Galbreth, but when I stumbled across Nene Thomas while looking for some fantasy window stickers, I simply couldn't believe the beauty!

I immediately fell in love with her work. And when I looked at her biography and saw that she loves The Sims just like me? .

I can't deicde which one I like best. I really enjoy the following works. (each link opens a new window):

Always
Blue Nocturne
Flamenco
Gathering Storm
Memory
Solace

And of course, I would do whatever I can to accomodate most fantasy artwork in my home. lol However, paying for school made my pockets and wallets quite light.

Although I love these artists, I'm still waiting for the prescence of African American, and African themed fantasy art. I don't care if it is assumed that fantasy art does not focus on cultures other than European. This is where I give Rob Carlos some credit for including the minority prescence in his work (pieces "Dryad" and "Summer"). And Jessica Galbreth's new Goddess Project has the first piece of work called "Oshun" which is an African Goddess. If you would like more information on her, here was something I found really quick.

Still Skeptical

2005-08-16T10:27:00.000-04:00

So apparently, yesterday something happend. This time, I did not feel any presence. Perhaps because it hasn't happend to me nor was it around me. But still... Anyway. Remember in the last post how I spoke about how I was online for quite some time and all of a sudden I heard the TV in the other room? Well, yesterday, this happend to my brother. He was looking out of the window in the room with the TV (which is his room). It was about 11 at night. The TV is on the other side of the room. He said he turned around and noticed the figure and the TV went on and then the figure just walked out.

I asked him where the remote was, he said it was on the little shelf he has that's just above his bed. Nobody was up there. In fact,t he rest of us where in the livingroom and he comes walking in and telling us what happend. Am I getting concerned? I guess. I mean, if this is real. I mean, I know my brother likes to play games with me and all. And if this was a game, I wouldn't care so much, except that I'd have made a fool of myself here. but that's alright. lol If ever I find out there are pranks going on, then so waht? It was fun while it lasted.

Anyway, the friend of mine that has contact the spirit about a few months ago simply said that it wasn't a harmful spirit or anything. It's too bad I don't fully remember b/c I guess I was so spooked that he was speaking to him right there in my driveway. Why I got spooked over that, I really don't know. But anyway, he simply told me that I will be living in this house for quite some time and it could be some sort of spirit that watches over me. We'll see how things go.

I'm thinking about talking to my friend about this. B/c of so many events going on, I haven't been able to contact him. Perhaps I'll make a point of that. But I feel bad about asking people to do spiritual things for me.

I still wish to remain skeptical though. I'd prefer the spirit contact me in another way that isn't harmful if they wish to speak. Before, the appearance of this figure was few, but it's becoming more and more and I've been felling it.

But then again... who here as the active imagination. I mean, I don't spend most of my day thinking about it. But when things like that happpen, there is a reason. The houses in my neighborhood aren't that close together. what are the chances that someone else's remote turned that TV on? And what of the figures we've been seeing on seperate occasions at various times of the day? (And now, different areas of the house) And if it's really a spirit? Who's? And what would they want with us? And if what my friend said was true about the spirit watching over me is true and that my leaving for school soon may be the reason for the more frequent events?

I want to be skeptical.

Weird Things

2005-08-13T09:41:00.000-04:00

Not sure exactly what's going on lately, but last night was one weird and crazy night. I wonder what the alignment of all the planets were or something. I don't know.

Okay, first off, lately I've been helping this one person with relationship and the control issues of others. I feel bad for this person and I've been trying all I can to help. It's certainly a situation I wouldn't want to experience myself. So I've been doing tarot readings and they're grateful for them, but at the same time, they seem very stuck. Last night, I was online late trying to resolve some issues in a certain online commuity. Things have been rough lately, but I think I've finally cleared the problem and things have been healing. Anyway, I got this feeling of being watched. I wasn't sure whether to welcome it or reject it. But prayers of protection went flying in my thoughts until I felt safe enough. I had a slight suspicion it had to do with the one I've been helping lately, so I went to check my messages and there was one from them. I was too afraid to reply to it as I still had that feeling.

And even freakier was the fact that over in the next room, the TV was on. No one was in that room for almost the entire day. And I was wondering, was the TV on the whole time or was it just turned on? So I thought that maybe someone must have came home and I didn't notice. I opened the door to the room and no one was in there. So here I am, at about 11 at night trying to figure out how the TV was turned on and what this feeling I had was. Also I kept seeing things out of the corner of my eyes. Then I look down and there was a spark of light, like bright green. Then I was like, "Okay, maybe I just need to go to bed," lol First I'm feeling a prescence in which I couldn't tell if it were harmful or simply wanted attention, then I'm trying to figure out if the TV in the room directly next to me has been on all day. Ha!

And then this morning, I come to find out both my mother and grandmother had won the jackpot at the casion last night (almost one after the other) and I made over $40 on ebay. All in one day. So yes, yesterday was quite a day for me.

Back to the feeling of a prescence in the room. The day before, I went to my favorite mystickal shop (the one talked about in the post before this one) to look for some items I've been wanting. I didn't find one of them which was a new pentagram. The one that I have now, I feel, has marked a part of my life and I think it's time to mark the end of it and start anew. Next, I was looking for an alabone shell in which to burn sage that has been sitting waiting to burn in my room for almost a year. I found one, but my hand stayed tight on my purse. Although it wasn't very expensive, I didn't buy it for some reason. Now I wish I had as sage is good for cleansing and I just want to make sure that the presence I felt wasn't negative.

And one last crazy thing that was happening last night was that when my mom came home last night, she said there were frogs everywhere on the steps to our house. So I'm sitting there confused. But I'd like to think that they simply wanted to stay cool or something. I'd rather want to find a rational explanation than immediately point to supersticion. But I do believe that science and faith are very compatible. Why people try to seperate them is beyond me.

One more time to the prescence. About 5 or 6 nights ago, I woke up around 11:45 and tried sleeping. I kept getting the feeling someone wanted contact. I wanted whatever feeling I had to go away because I was too frightened (or suspcious) to deal with it at the moment. I woke up in the middle of sleep to feel this?!

Whatever, maybe it's imagination. But I don't remember having junk food before going to bed that night.

A Miracle in the Mystical Shop

2005-08-10T18:17:00.000-04:00

Usually when I walk into a mystical or magickal shop, I expect to be a loner. I don't expect there to be any minorities in the shop but me. But today, there was a miracle. Yes folks, a miracle.

I went to one of my favorite locations to go see if there was anything that I can get for one of my friends' birthdays. I ended up picking a nice faery shirt off one of the racks because I saw she was wearing one the other day and I figured, what could possibly be wrong with another one? *grin*

Now that I had something for myself, I went to go look for some things for me. Normally when looking around, I kinda daydream and just let the day's events go by. I usually make jokes with my boyfriend when it comes to racial stereotypes (He's white, I'm African Aerican). Then it popped into my head. I was going to ask the shop owner out of curiosity if I was the only African American woman going into her shop. But then I backed down because I was drawn to a book on one of the shelves. So I was searching and searching and the door opened behind me. I turn around and there she was, another African American woman. I smiled at her, she smiled back and the shop owner greeted her. (And it sounded like she knew her too) She ended up purchasing a candle. It was as if she knew right where to go...almost as if *gasp* she's been there before.

You see how Spirit answers our questions in the form of events or the things people say and do? All you have to do is be aware. lol Just wait until you're all alone amongst a group of people who have comefrom different backgrounds from you. Then you wonder if the people fromyour background would be interested in what the people from their background is. Then you'll understand. I wonder if white rappers go through the same thing...

The "Dark Side"

2005-08-03T12:07:00.000-04:00

I remember having thoughts that during my spiritual journey, I would stumble and make mistakes and get back up and continue only to be stronger. I believe that it is inevitable that sometime during our journey, we would end up falling prey to the "other side". I think that it is something that we must accept, but keep somewhere deep within, that eventually, we would have to move on and come on out. I don't believe that everyone who feels comfortable with the dark side of things have a tendancy to be destructive. Some people just like dark things. For example, there are people out there who enjoy vampire art. Does that make them want to go and become a vampire and start biting people or do they simply like the art, intensity and mystery?

Some may think it's wrong, vengeful or crazy, but I personally don't have a problem with getting a little assistance from the dark side. People say, "Well, you should watch out, karma is going to get you,". But I say that karma works through people too. And I have no problem using prayer/magick to teach those who have caused harm a lesson. (Interestingly, I still have a problem with physical war) Perhaps it is in my Scorpio nature to be inclined to seek revenge, be protective of our own, and to have an interest in the Occult and other things that are hidden and mysterious. And in my Tiger nature (Chinese zodiac) to live on the edge, be courageous and take risks. But whatever harm I would do, it's always for the better. I wouldn't want to make things worse just for the sake of it. I'm not up for destruction and chaos. However, I do feel that certain things need to be done. Some would say that a binding spell meant to prevent someone from doing harm is doing harm to them because you're trying to control a person. I never really agreed with that. I believe that sometimes action needs to be taken in order to stop more stupidity and injustice from happening. When people see two people fist fighting, what do you see most of the time? One person holds one person back and another the other.

Although I see no harm in praying and having faith that things turn out better, I feel that it helps to get action in there too. I beleive Spirit will not help us unless we help ourselves (or actively try to make the changes we wish to see.... Oh my goodness, flashbacks of Gandhi! lol)

Update

2005-08-03T11:35:00.000-04:00

Hot damn! It's been at least a month since I've posted here?! Geez! lol Okay, I've felt my beliefs have changed (of course, a spiritual journey is ever evolving). Here are my latest Belief-O-Matic scores from Beliefnet.com:

1. New Age (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (97%)
3. Neo-Pagan (96%)
4. Liberal Quakers (93%)
5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (88%)
6. Mahayana Buddhism (73%)
7. New Thought (72%)
8. Reform Judaism (63%)
9. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (62%)
10. Theravada Buddhism (60%)
11. Bah�'� Faith (59%)
12. Scientology (59%)
13. Sikhism (59%)
14. Secular Humanism (56%)
15. Taoism (56%)
16. Orthodox Quaker (53%)
17. Hinduism (50%)
18. Jainism (45%)
19. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (41%)
20. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (36%)
21. Orthodox Judaism (33%)
22. Nontheist (31%)
23. Jehovah's Witness (28%)
24. Islam (25%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (22%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (19%)
27. Roman Catholic (19%)

Let's check out the top three...

New Age.... I don't even know what New Age is anymore. All I know is that there is nothing new about New Age. In fact, the beliefs can be anything. Although people would say New Agers are into the crystals, chakras and angels...well, so are many Pagans (which is an umbrella term which is just as wide, if not wider, than New age). Many of the Eastern faiths held the belief in the chakras.

Let's see what's next on my list. Oh how lovely, Unitarian Universalism. :) Now I understand that they are one of the most accepting of faiths and in fact, they teach various doctrines as part of their education. They're quite an interesting group.

Neo-Pagan. Just like New Age, that can be anything. Although many Pagans would prefer to distance from being considered new age. I guess thy see New Agers as being fluffy and only into light. Whereas the Pagans themselves recognize both the light and dark.

Which do I feel I identify with most at this moment in my journey? Hmm... I would go with the last one. I don't see anything wrong with accepting both the light and dark sides of spirituality, the human psyche, etc. The only thing that I would recommend is that you have some way of getting yourself out in case you get too deep to the point where you begin hurting yourself and others for what would be no reason.

Court: No Ten Commandments in Courthouses

2005-06-27T11:03:00.000-04:00

Court: No Ten Commandments in Courthouses
WASHINGTON - In a narrowly drawn ruling, the Supreme Court struck down Ten Commandments displays in courthouses Monday, holding that two exhibits in Kentucky crossed the line between separation of church and state because they promoted a religious message.

The 5-4 decision, first of two seeking to mediate the bitter culture war over religion's place in public life, took a case-by-case approach to this vexing issue. In the decision, the court declined to prohibit all displays in court buildings or on government property.
(continue)

Good. :) B/c someone would've had a fit if other faiths wanted to put theirs as well. And I seriously don't buy that argument that the founding fathers were Christian. I still think they were Deist or secular in some way. How many political figures have the time to be seriously religious anyway? And even if they attempt to show it to the public, most likely it's to sway votes and it seems to be the only way to advocate a specific religion if the majority is apart of that faith. Which would also be against the Constitution...

Skipping Cases of Missing Minorities? What?!

2005-06-27T10:40:00.000-04:00

I know many of you have heard the story of Natalee Holloway ,the 18 year-old high school student who was abducted in Aruba. However, how many of you have heard about Tamika Huston's disappearance?

Spotlight skips cases of missing minorities
By Mark Memmott, USA TODAY
Tamika Huston's family reported her missing a year ago this week.

When police in Spartanburg, S.C., began investigating the 24-year-old woman's disappearance, her loved ones swung into action. They distributed fliers, held news conferences and set up a Web site. Huston's story became a cause célèbre in the local media. (Related story: Aruban police search home of Dutch teen)

Huston lived alone and obviously hadn't been home for days, if not a week or two. Her dog, Macy, had given birth to puppies.

Rebkah Howard, Huston's aunt and a public relations professional in Miami, tried to get the national media interested in the case. "I spent three weeks calling the cable networks, calling newspapers — even yours," Howard said this week.

Not much happened
(continue)

I cannot fully express how much it has angered me when I first learned of this case not getting enough publicity. To me, it's plain common sense that if someone goes missing, an alert or something must go out to the people. It's just so ridiculous that people have to go to extremes to get this sort of thing out there.

All I know is that eventually someone is going to have to explain all of this and make sense of it too. B/c none of this makes sense to me. How hard could it be? How can a country not care for all of it's fellow citizens, instead of just the majority? In order for this country to work and be able to eradicate any problems, they've got to care for all citizens. The whole thing is bull. And like I said before, nothing angered me more than hearing about how certain people aren't getting covereage. Clearly there is some sort of subliminal messaging going, whether it be intentional or not.

Just Blame PMS

2005-06-14T17:46:00.000-04:00

Why is it that whenever a woman gets mad and is not afraid to show her anger that the blame immediately gets put on PMS? Is it because some men don't want to grow up and admit that they may have done something wrong to hurt her? Is it that some other woman just want to make herself look good and self-controlled? What is that all about? If someone is aggrivating you does it really make sense that you would wait until you are going through PMS to stand up for yourself? I mean, I'm not saying that bad things don't happen when the hormones are raging. But aren't we in an age and time where science has been able to at least figure out at least half of what's going on when a woman is nearing her monhtly cycle? Are some men and women really that immature and ignorant that they think the ice age is really the best time in history?

Whatever.
Information on menstruation, fertility, infertility, charting cycles, conception, contraception and women's health.

Just Blame Christianity

2005-06-06T13:04:00.000-04:00

There are times when we move from what we were in the past, to something we look to int the future. Many times, we may want to move so quickly and we want to assure ourselves so readily that we have moved on and become better. But just because we have moved on, it doesn't mean it is always for the better. It's natural to make mistakes.

What I don't like is whenever Pagans are discussing their faith, they seem to want to make such a distinction between themselves and Christians (or Satanists). Why can't they say what their beliefs are and cut it at that? Why is it that if someone believes in the Rede or if they believe bad things will happen to them if they do something bad to others that it's automatically asumed that it's because of the Christian view of damnation and karma (you reap what you sow). That concept is apparent in a lot of religions.

I can understand that in many Pagan books tthey act as guides for the newbies who may be coming from a Christian background. But still, I think it's childish. The word 'Christian' is bound to come up...at least in many Pagan books and essays I've read.

I'm not saying that this is true for every Pagan, but it's just a little trend I've been noticing and I'm sure others have as well. Almost like how it seems Wicca is the current trend. There are countles other Pagan traditions besides Wicca, but for some reason, that one gets the most publicity. It's almost as if it's automatically assumed that if you're Pagan you're Wiccan, but I honestly believe that that isn't always the case.

What's going on here?

Eye of Horus

2005-05-31T11:50:00.000-04:00

The Eye of Horus, an ancient Egyptian symbol which represents many things such as psychic abilities, protection against evil spirits, renewal and protection against bad luck. It is found everywhere in Egyptian art. The origin of the eye lies in the myth of Isis and Osiris. Angry Set killed his brother Osiris to the succession of the throne. Horus went to avenge his father’s death by having a duel with Set. However, during this battle, he lost his eye. But since the rest of the Gods felt Horus was rightful heir to the throne, they stepped in to help. Thoth, the Egyptian moon god and one of the patrons of the magickal arts, healed his wound and nurtured the eye back to health. The ‘RX’ symbol used by pharmacies had it’s origins in the Eye of Horus.

Other names for this symbol include, ‘Udjat’ and ‘Wadjet’ meaning “Whole One”.

Meditation

2005-05-25T18:01:00.000-04:00

People meditate for various reasons. For some it is a way of getting closer to Spirit. For others it's about clearing the mind for inspiration and creativity. I believe meditation is what one makes of it. I believe it has been very useful for me. Studies have shown the meditation is beneficial to the health. The happiest people are the ones who take the time to clear their mind, detach themselves from the world for a moment and relax, no matter how stressful their days have been.

Active meditation is what I do on a daily basis. In my case, the active meditation is dancing. I find that when I do so, I ususally get answers or ideas for projects I work on, most of the time unintentionally. Active meditation is a very simple process and anyone can do it if they choose. For me, it's simply zoning out, except not really because I'm very aware of what's going on. It happens a lot when I'm dancing. Most of the time when I dance, it becomes an active mediation and the music in the background helps me to stay focused.

Here is a link I found on active mediation that may help you understand. Although what they are suggesting people do is not what I have originally learned about active mediation, I can relate to a lot of what is being said on thgat page.

Sitting down meditation is something I find is a little difficult for me. The following are links about meditation that may be helpful for you or anyone else interested in learning about meditation:

Learning Meditation
Meditation: Holistic Online (has various methods of meditation)
Wikipedia: Meditation
Meditation: Innervibrance

Ankh

2005-05-24T19:37:00.000-04:00

The ankh (crux ansata)- One of my favorite symbols which was (and still is) believed to be the key to eternal life. It was regarded as one of the holiest symbols in Ancient Egypt. Although the origin of the symbol is unknown, there are many parts of the symbol that has conjured up abstract meaning. The Ancient Egyptians believed that it symbolized air and water, the two elements needed to sustain life. People today believe that the symbol itself means the creation of life; the top loop representing the vagina and the cross piece and central support symbolizing the penis and testicles. The two coming together, thus we have the creation of life. Some say it is the key to the doors of the underworld.

The ankh is not only regarded as an ancient holy symbol worn by Ancient Egyptian lovers and fans as well as the followers of the Kemetic Faiths (modern Egyptian, Neo Pagan) but also by those of the Gothic faith. It is not uncommon to find the ankh in many of Ancient Egypt’s art; usually the Gods and Goddesses are holding the ankh. Depending on the art your are looking at, you may find Gods and Goddesses holding up the ankh to a Pharaoh’s mouth as to give eternal life to them. Sometimes the ankh is mistaken for the Christian cross, especially when people go to jewelry stores and regard it as the creativity of the artist. In no way is the origin of the ankh to be regarded as a Christian symbol (other than Coptic, Christianity’s oldest form which originated in Egypt) simply because it has been around longer than Christianity itself.

Spiritual Gardening

2005-05-18T08:03:00.000-04:00

You know, with Spring passing by and summer coming in about a month, I've been doing too much thinking and not enough action. This year I wanted to focus on gardening, but with so many new things coming up this year, I couldn't get into it. I believe that we can bring spirituality into anything we do, but today I wanted to focus on gardening. Some would say, "Well, that's dumb. What would spirituality have to do with gardening?" and I say, "Everything".

I mean, the entire story of creation is all in gardening. One plants a seed, and things will turn out depending on how you take care of it and it's surroundings (you reap what you sow). It's great pleasure in seeing how things grow and turn out based on your compassion, patience and caring. Both of those are fundamental in many religious beliefs (but where is it shown through religious people...who knows?)

I remember last year was the first time in which I've gone out on my own and plated some nasturtiums in boxes that sit on my deck. After planting the seeds and watering them a little, I said a little blessing and hope that when they grew, they were healthy and beautiful. And indeed, they were both. I made sure to take care of them by pulling out any weeds and grass that may have gotten in there through bird droppings or of the sort. I've never expected something that I've done myself to be so fruitful and needless to say, I was very proud of myself for discovering my "green thumb".

Another project I wanted to do that year was to make spiritual designs and symbols with flowers and rock formations, but I never got the time to do so. The best thing about these things is that they can serve nearly any purpose. They don't always have to be just flowers with spiritual purposes, you can have herbs that can heal wounds or plants that can keep bugs away. It's all in what you put into it.

The following links should be able to help those who wish to harness the power of creation and make a spiritually centered garden:

Spiritual Garden Design
Herb Guide
Insect-free Rose Garden
Allergy-Free Gardening
Gardening Basics with a Magical Twist
Sacred Gardens

Is It Humane?

2005-05-12T14:50:00.000-04:00

At the time I'm learning of this story, it wasn't available on the news site I regularly visted. Someone else who searched and found a link to the story had it.

Class Dissection Of Live Dog Outrages Parents, Students

Didn't I just post the other day a nice story about a dog who rescued a human baby and began taking care of her as her own and humans can be insensitive and inhumane? I mean, I know this teacher may have had good intentions, but I just think he didn't think far ahead enough. I mean, yes, the dog was scheduled to go down and in a way, I think seeing something like that would be interesting. But my female instincts start kicking in and I really don't think it's right. I think it would have been better if the class had a chance to see a dog get surgery or something, I don't know. Anything but a dying dog.

Are They Paying You To Wear That?

2005-05-11T17:15:00.000-04:00

You know, an English teacher of mine would always wear black and none of us really knew what brand of clothing he wore...so we asked him. He said that it's because the companies of the clothes he is wearing isn't paying him to advterise.

lol I thought it was a good point. I mean, I don't always buy clothes with a huge label on them anyway. But I'll joke around with people I know when they wear stuff like that and I say, "Is ___ paying you to wear that?" and they start laughing.

So ritually, my teacher would black out any of the labels (normally he buys the small label stuff). And of course, he wears black b/c it's his favorite color.

Humans and Animals: A Special Bond

2005-05-10T17:18:00.000-04:00

Kenyans eager to adopt baby found with puppies

NAIROBI, Kenya (AP) -- Offers to adopt a newborn girl found among a litter of puppies after being abandoned are pouring in to the Kenyan hospital where she is being treated, and the stray dog credited with her rescue has a home and a name -- "Mkombozi" or "Savior."

Many people may say that animals have no sense of feeling or any of the sort, and it's all instinct. But there are many scenarios such as the one above that makes me wonder. Did the mixed breed dog who doesn't have an owner really do what she did out of instinct? Perhaps, as she is currently in the process of caring for her own. But how would the dog know that the baby left behind that shack was in distress? I know some domestic animals that go berserk when a baby cries. But this dog, whose four walls and roof are of trees and the sky, decides to take a crying baby and adopt it as her own. A human baby, an offspring of the human race that is known to abuse and mistreat the animals, is taken in by a dog.

No, This Not the Star of David

2005-05-08T17:05:00.000-04:00

Some people are familiar with religious symbolism while others tend to be a bit shallow in such areas. It may not offend you as much if someone else's religious symbol is confused with another, but when you are the one who has to explain over and over that the symbol you're sporting is not the symbol one thinks it is, it can get a little tiring and annoying.

So surfing around the web, I saw the folloing bumpersticker (which inspired me to write this):

Some of you are probably like, "What? It most certainly is, it's a star! See?". But it's not just any 'ole star. Take a look at the following picture:

Now look up at the first one. See the difference? One star has six sides, the other has five. The first star is the not the Star of David (or the Seal of Solomon), but a pentacle. There are many different associations with that symbol. Most commonly, it is a symbol used by many Pagans. Each point represents an element; air, water, fire, earth and the top one represents spirit. With those combined, they are the elements used to sustain life. Another interpretation of the pentacle is that it represents life that is united through Spirit. That's the definition I go by.

Inverted pentegrams, though such as in the following picture is the symbol of the Satanists (which are not to be confused with Pagans) have a totally different meaning.

One meaning that I know of is the Sigl of Baphomet. Baphomet has the head of a goat and the body of either a dog, bull or donkey. I've also read that the inverted pentegram can also mean the desires of the earth over spirit. (Remember what I said about the top point representing Spirit? Notice how the top point in this image is upside down. That's how you can tell which symbol is which.)

There is also the pentagram. That's simply the pentacle without the circle around it such as in the following picture:

Although people have used the two names interchangebly. Five has been considered a magical number. click here for an excellent and accurate article on the meaning of this symbol. This symbol has been said to be some sort of divine symbol as you can find it's components all over the place in nature. I can't say I've search all over myself.

If you're interested in learning more in depth with these symbols, a good place would be to go here where the info isn't biased or leaning one way or another.

Now for a little info on the Star of David. Like I said before, it has six points. Or an easier way to notice is there are two triangle present in the symbol; one pointing upwards and one pointing below. Some have said that this symbol represents the notion of "As Above, so below". For more info on this symbol click here.

It's always good to learn and be knowledgable than to be stupid and spread falsities.

'Bewitched' statue plan bothers, bewilders

2005-05-06T07:41:00.000-04:00

'Bewitched' statue plan bothers, bewilders

Personally I think it's disrespectful that they'd put the statue of Elizabeth Montgomery (a.k.a. Samantha Stephens) from the show 'Bewitched' in Salem, Mass. The Salem Witch Trials (Salem, Mass 1692) was about the religious intolerance and sufferings of Christians who called each other witches. It was basically the liberal open-minded Christians versus the more Puritanical (Conservative) Christians who were very supersticious. Anything they couldn't understand and random coincidences were considered "the work of the devil" or the work of "witchcraft".

The people who wish to have this statue up think it would boost tourism, but I think that's the last thing Salem needs. I've been there twice and it's CROWDED. Especially during all of October.

I think putting the statue in town will make the town more "Disney-like"...bringing TV to life and people having their picture taken. It's stupid and plain ridiculous. (BTW, I'm not a fan of Disney either)

Spirit Photos

2005-05-05T14:23:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted here in quite a while. But I figured that today I will discuss pictures that people post online that are supposed to be of ghosts, angels, faeries, etc. since it came up in my studies.

I was looking around online for info and myths on spiritual creatures that pop up in various religions. I was concentrating on faeries, pixies and gnomes at the time when I stumbled across this site. On that page, there are at least three photos that the author claims to have captured faeries and/or other spirits. As much as I would love them to be real, I've learned that it's always best to be skeptical.Some of those I couldn't believe right off the bat because I didn't understand how an average camera could have taken such sharp images of these spiritual beings. Normally people see a little fuzzyness in a picture and say it was a spiritual being. They may be right or they might have captured a dust particle that came really close, who knows? If it were an aura camera, I'd probably believe it a little more.

Another reason why I didn't believe the images were real is because I always thought that such images would be best captured through your spiritual "psychicness" and not so much a camera that was made to capture the light patterns of this world (although there is a lot of debate on the validity of the aura camera, however, regardless, I'd like to take a picture from one for fun anyway). But it seemed to me that a lot of those images where pasted on using an image editing program, especially the one with the running oak tree creatures.

I'm not saying that these spiritual beings do not exist. I do believe that our world of time and space isn't the only possible world at it's level of existence. I do believe in spirits and another world other than the one we're living in such as the spirit world where our spirits reside after we die. However I don't think it's so possible to capture it so easily on a regular 35mm or a digital camera.

Holocaust Rememberance Day

2005-05-05T14:00:00.000-04:00

Today is Holocaust Rememberance Day for people who don't know.

Shoah is the Hebrew word for "whirlwind." It is the term used to described the conflagration that swept up six million Jewish souls between 1938 and 1945. A war was waged against the Jews in which unspeakable atrocities were perpetrated against a defenseless people. Men and women, young and old alike, were butchered at the hands of the accursed Nazis, may their name be eradicated for all time. Every year, on Yom HaShoah, we remember the martyrs who sanctified the name of G-d in the camps, the ghettos, and in the gas chambers.

click here to continue reading.

American Idol...going down the drain

2005-04-28T16:18:00.000-04:00

So anyway, this year's American Idol sucked BIG TIME. We're down to the last 5. And I am ashamed of my fellow citizens. How the heck can you have Scott Sable(is that his name?) and Anthony Federov still lingering around? And how the hell did Nadia leave the competition so early? She should have been the next American Idol. And to make it worse, Constantine (who is hot as hell ) was voted off last night. I understand on Tuesday he did a crappy job, but overall, he's a good singer. People make mistakes. And Nikko Smith... he was voted off once, but when Mario quit American Idol, he was back and kickin' for a few more weeks. Why he was voted off?

If Scott becomes the next American Idol then I'm not watching again....

....(Yeah right)

Atheists Can Help The Religious Too You Know

2005-04-27T18:42:00.000-04:00

Many people may not see it in a positive light or have it cross their mind such as it just did mine. However, I realized that Atheists can help religious people in so many ways. Having someone on the outside, whose values aren't restricted by dogma and sometimes fear, can offer a different kind of perspective on things that you may not have been able to shed light on before.

They may not always have the right answer, they may not even have the answer you are looking for. But I think the best thing that can come from conversing with an Atheist is that you can learn more about yourself and where you stand on things. And people believe that God or the Divine works in mysterious ways, who says that God would not send a non-believer to at least get you to think? Perhaps they are the answer to your prayers for knowledge and clarification. Perhaps they are the finger of God, pointing towards you, asking you to look within yourself for the answers.

Gold Digging at Wendy's

2005-04-26T13:56:00.000-04:00

Hehe... I'm not sure if anyone has heard of the story about the lady who claims she's discovered a finger in her Chile when she was eating at Wendy's.

Well, click the following for a follow-up.

Woman in Wendy's Case Waives Extradition

Who the hell would go that far to get money out of a restaurant? And to top it off, who's going to fall for a finger? A fly, a roach? Maybe. But a finger? ...

Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Follow-Up

2005-04-25T18:30:00.000-04:00

Remember the hype with the grilled-cheese that sold on ebay for a lot of money? Well check this, as some of you know, I do my own little ebaying. When I checked the most watched items on ebay, guess what I saw? None other than The Official Holy Pan That Made the Grilled Cheese

HA!

LOL

The "devil" can make his money in all sorts of ways huh? People are so gullible. And the worst thing is that they don't even realize it. The woman is rich as it is from the sale of the grilled cheese. (Okay, maybe not rich, but has gotten a great deal of money.)

When will there come the time where I can scratch images in toast and get millions for it? lol

Here are some other things that seem to sell quite well on ebay:

Condoms
Tampons
Box full of air

Something that doesn't seem to be selling at the moment I found this auction, but I thought it was interesting.
Mother and Child Beyond the Grave, Hand of God

and much more of course...lol :D

Quizzical

2005-04-15T17:12:00.000-04:00

You are a NATURAL KIND SOUL. You like nature, find
art in many things, and you are kind at the
heart. Some could say that you are an old soul
too!

What do your eyes reveal?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your wise quote is: "Be kind to unkind people,
they probably need it the most" by
Ashleigh Brilliant.
You try to look beyond apperance, try to give
people second chances and are probably very
kind. Understanding is your biggest personality
trait, and thoose you can see through should be
grateful. If they aren't already. You detest
narrow minded people, because they can't see
what's really there. Facades is not your thing
and you strive to always be who you really are.

What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla

A SCULPTOR OR CERAMIC PROFESSION. CERAMICS ARE
BEAUTIFUL AND YOU CAN OWN YOUR OWN LITTLE SHOP!

What artsy profession will you have some day??
brought to you by Quizilla

Your connection with darkness is through your
interest in vampires. Theese occult beings
fascinates you. Their lives are just something
you would kill for, and if you would have the
opportunity to be sired, you would. Living a
mortal kind of life is just so ordinary and
boring. You aren't necessarly evil just because
of this interest/obsession, you just can
connect with them and their lifestyles. Though
people have a hard time understanding this and
chances are you're a social outcast. Perhaps
you hate your life and therefor developed this
interest, to escape reality.

What is your connection with darkness? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

The last two lied...lol...well, the second to last one was half right. I'd love to have my own spiritual shop. Why not? Vampires? I'm not really into vampires, although they are interesting.

Communing With Spirit in Music

2005-04-14T14:34:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I attended a drumming circle. I am always so excited to go because it is a chance for me to be around people like me. People who are interested in music of course, as well as people who are very spiritual. When I first saw the ad in a local newspaper, I didn't even think that I'd come together with people who also share a spirituality similar to mine. I was even more surprised when I asked the person who organized the group why he enjoys drumming, and he told me that it was his way of getting closer to God. I began noticing more when I attended the drumming circles, I've noticed some people who wore their spiritual and cultural symbols and clothing that reflected their beliefs and customs. It's nice to be around people who are so accepting and open.

It is one place where I never really expected to be able to relate to people in other ways besides my love of music. But I enjoyed my time. I notice many times during drumming circle, I may space out and at times, fall into a mini trance (I'm more in some sort of limbo, but very conscious of what's going on). And people comment on how time flies.

What's beautiful about my experience there is that, it's a free for all drumming circle. That means there is no real facilitator who starts the heartbeat of the music, nor are there any rules on how you're supposed to drum. You are welcome to bring in your own percussion instruments, although at times I have seen people bring in flutes and other woodwind instruments. People of all ages come in and there is no limit to the number of people or the type of people welcome. When people stop in to watch and listen, we usually encourage them to join us, although we don't force them. Eventually, most of our "visitors" end up joining and thne commenting afterward that it was such a wonderful experience and how they would come again. We've had the numbers of people ranging from a small group of about four people to about 25! The most beautiful part is that we all eventually begin to tune into each other and sound like we've been playing for years. It's one thing about diversity that drumming circle teaches me and that, even though individually we may be different and live life differently, but in essence, it is all apart of a greater whole. And everything is connected one way or another which makes it even more beautiful.

The experience of just relaxing and the enjoyment on banging out on some drums is something that many people should try. I would never force people, but I think it would be good for all different reasons. You can even use the drum to let off some steam or to zone out reflect on the day's events or something. Anything really. And even if you're a little out of tune, so what? People are there to have fun and relax.

Forgiveness

2005-04-13T08:28:00.000-04:00

The other day I decided to walk with my boyfriend in a park that is just stunningly beautiful. I told him I wanted to go during the sunset because I’ve never seen it at that time and I thought it would be beautiful. So of course, I drive to the parking lot. I see a group of guys sitting on and around this car. I took one look at them and for some reason, I didn’t trust them. I told my boyfriend quietly before we got out of my car and he was like, “Oh yeah?” and I said, “Yeah, but I’m not sure why.”

We had my dog with us because I thought he would really like this place. As we got out of the car we noticed another dog that randomly comes up to us wagging it’s tail. My boyfriend asks those guys whose dog it was and they told him that he belonged to the people who live across the street from the park. My boyfriend thought it was irresponsible of them to have their dog running around like that and running up to strangers. They agreed.

So then afterward we continued off towards the trail. The entire time I was a nervous wreck for some reason, and I kept reminding my boyfriend. I even told him, “I hope they don’t do anything to my car, even though it’s old. I mean, who would want to bother with it?” (I tried reassuring myself)

And he was like, “Yeah”.

So then we kept walking. I was still nervous most of the time. It was hard for me to absorb the beauty without that constant feeling of butterflies in my stomach. But eventually I was able to appreciate the beauty of the place with it’s streams and beautiful rock formations. A familiar bridge by the area was broken on one side. That pissed me off that someone would be so stupid and careless. Below this bridge are rocks and I only wondered what kind of stupidity went on there.

As we returned the first thing I tried to do was peep over the hill to check the status of my car. As I got closer, things seemed fine until I got to the back. The silver painting of the letters looked chipped, but I said nothing and tried to dismiss it as part of my paranoia. But as I was driving, I kept wondering if it was like that before. Eventually I let it slip my mind.

Until yesterday when my boyfriend proceeded to give me an oil change and I had spent more time looking at my car. When he was done and we were looking around at it, I asked him if he remembered if the letters looked like that. He said no. And so, I told him my concern, “Remember how I was nervous about those guys hanging around in that car and I was constantly nervous that they would do something?”

And he nodded. He didn’t need to say anymore as he knew what I was thinking.

This morning, I woke up around 3:00. I quickly became angry thinking about it. I was so fumed. I asked that Spirit take care of them and let them feel hurt like I did. I kept repeating, even as I was very tired, I kept saying, “Please, if they are truly guilty, let them feel the pain that I have, except three times worse. If not, please take my anger and frustration away. Even though this car is old, I’m very proud to have it because it runs well for it’s age and there is no rust on the body and I’m proud to show that the body especially for an American made car, is in very good condition. And this is my first car; I’ve only had for a little over a month!”

And then I kept asking that Spirit take my anger away because I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was exhausted and I didn’t want to stay up all night thinking of such things.

Then a thought entered my mind that perhaps I should forgive them.

“Forgive, forgive, forgive....forgive them? How am I going to do that?” Then I began thinking, “Most important, why am I going to do that?”

Then that’s when I realized that I’m finding it harder and harder to forgive people. So I lie there last night trying my hardest thinking why I should forgive them. I remembered my belief in that Spirit resides in everyone and everything. Then I began remembering how not all of us are in touch with the spark of God that resides in us all and that we must forgive each other for that. That we are not in touch with the love that is Spirit.

But even knowing that, it was still hard for me. This was absolutely horrible and I was beating myself up over the fact that I couldn’t forgive others as easily as I used to. I was also beating myself up for forgetting to ask for protection on my car and I haven’t gotten to doing such a spell for it. I began trying to release my anger to Spirit, asking that it is taken and turned into love for others. That something good is done with this energy. And so, I began forgiving them saying that not everyone realizes that their little pranks may cause more harm than they realize. Then I began thinking of similar things I’ve done to others and I realized that it is karma biting me in the butt. I then began to forgive myself as well.

When I woke this morning, it felt like a dream. In fact, anything that happens in the night for me feels like it was a dream. So here I am typing on this beautiful sunny day listening to Aria on the PC. I think about the lettering on the car and I can picture them in my mind doing what I felt they did and not getting angry for it. Have I truly forgiven them as well as myself? Did I discover the hard way that I still have lots of work when it comes to forgiving others and seeing others as people like me, all trying to find a way to survive in this world? I think I have and I am determined to continue to learn to forgive. But I must learn to forgive myself the most. That’s something I’ve always had a hard time doing.

Nature's Role in Spirituality

2005-04-08T15:34:00.000-04:00

Today I wanted to talk about nature's role in my Spiritualitual journey. Believe it or not, it plays quite a role. For me, Spirit has always been everywhere. The wonder of the nature of Spirit is present to me in the beautiful enviornments that are becoming more seemingly hard to find. But I also feel that I am able to find the beauty and wonder in even the simplest of things.

I enjoy places such as the deep evergreen woods of pine and spruce with the soft bed of pine needles and cones on the ground. The water is another favorite of mine, whether it be a brook that bends and turns and rolls over rocks and stones below with beautiful trees casting their shade with the sunlight sprinkling through. Or the beautiful ponds with fish, turtles and frogs in a quiet secluded area. I also enjoy watching the animals and how they behave towards one another. All of it very interesting. The following are pictures that I took. Just click each one for a larger image.

(taken right after a rainfall)

(Bird watching is one of
the things I enjoy doing)

(Lilac tree. They have
a strong but pleasant
smell.)

(I thought that was
pretty cool)

(I was outside cutting
the hedges and I saw this.
I got frightened even though
it's a harmless garter snake.
lol...I think)

By appreciating the beauty that is Spirit's creation on this Earth I am thanking Spirit for the wonderful things in life. The thing with appreciating nature is that you don't have to be intelligent to be able to recognize beauty. When I am outside, I feel that I am one with Spirit. That as soon as I fill my lungs with the fresh air, Spirit is filling me with love and serenity. Being in nature has helped to clear my mind and give me a new sense of hope and renewal. I have learned that through all the ugly things this world may have, there are things that are just as beautiful if not more.

Fun Quizzes once again...

2005-04-06T11:14:00.000-04:00

Which internet subculture do I belong to? [CLICK]
	You are a Trekkie!
It's a geek, Jim! You probably have a starfleet uniform and a tricorder. Bonus points if you speak klingon. One day you will walk down the aisle with your buttertroll trekkie partner, humming to the Yoyager theme.
More Quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

Beyond Reflection Highway

Contentment Meadows	4
Bog of Eternal Marriage	15
Fame City	60
Dumpsville	145
County Jail	292
Please Drive Carefully

Where are you on the highway of life?

From Go-Quiz.com

Book Questions

2005-04-05T17:37:00.000-04:00

Someone asked me these questions and I'd figure I'd share them here as well.

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?

Man, I really don't know. I haven't read many of the books on the banned books list. I've read Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Great book.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Who?

No, not that I could remember.lol

The last book you bought is:

Let's see I just got three books online for the price of one (shop ebay everybody lol). I got:

Spell Crafts by Scott Cunningham and David Harrington
Emracing the Moon by Yasmine Galenorn
and Spirit of the Witch by Raven Grimassi

What are you currently reading?

The three books above as well as:
The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels,
The Mystic Christ by Ethan Walker III
and The Ramayana (Hindu/Indian Spiritual Text)

Five books you would take to a deserted island:

Honestly, I really don't know....only five? I've got a whole library! And V.C. Andrews series are all seperate right now. I can't have them all together in one book! lol

In Memory of Pope John Paul II

2005-04-03T13:07:00.000-04:00

As many of us know, Pope John Paul II passed away yesterday. To many, he was like a spiritual father figure. And so, his passing has touched many hearts, both young and old and people of all ages and cultures.

He was a very influential person who tried to bring peace about the world in many ways. click here for some. I am no Catholic nor am I a Christian, but I'll give him his respect. Just as you don't have to be Hindu or Indian to like Gandhi and appreciate his good deeds. Good people are good people. And good people can come from anywhere and in any way. All good people deserve their respect and should be recognized for it.

I don't know what else to say. I thought about him all last night though. He's done things to try to bring peace amongst the Jews and the Christians. And people of various faiths outside Christiandom respected him.

You know, I didn't know this before, but I found it interesting that he did not agree with the war in Iraq and you'd think President Bush would stop and think about why the highest ranking person in his faith would disagree with the war in Iraq. *shruggies*

2005-04-01T17:50:00.000-05:00

I got accepted to one of the schools I applied to!

AAAAHHHHH!!!!

I really didn't think I'd get accepted, but I guess they liked my resume and my grades showed improvement and all that mess. And it was a school that sent me something like every week in the mail. So when I saw I got something from them, I rolled my eyes like this. ::) lol and said, "Aww damn, not another one!" But I opened it anyway.

And the paper (which felt more like some sort of thick...manilla?) was folded all nice and intricate. A seal covered it and then I was like, "For such an expensive school, they sure spend a lot of money on the pointless stuff"

I unfolded it and then BAM!!! It hit me, right there! The first line talking about they'll accept me for the upcoming fall!

So I called my mom and my grandma and I left a message on the answering machine at my school reading them the first line and telling them I expect a cake and we'll photocopy this and tack it up on the wall. lol (we're really laid back)

Man, and I thought I wouldn't make it!

Church Guilt

2005-04-01T09:39:00.000-05:00

The church can make you feel so guilty at times. It's not even God or Jesus that makes me feel horrible about my Spiritual beliefs, it's the people of the church. When I feel guilty when I do my dance meditations or when I have interest in mysticism and mystical things, I don't feel it's God reprimanding me. Nor do I feel Jesus is, but I feel the heat from the people of the church. All that dogma can really hurt somebody when it is used the wrong way. The guilt makes me want to move farther and farther away from the churches I grew up in. There was no sincere love or sincere feelings for me, but a trap. I see the faces of some of the attendants as demons trying to get me to do something that goes against my nature. That goes against what I feel in my heart. It feels as if the church only wants me there to feel secure in their beliefs, that the Bible is God's word. But God speaks to me through my heart and spirit, not the book. God tells me to be kind to all and to treat people with respect both physically and emotionally.

Religious intolerance is really horrible and it's something that anyone who has felt hurt from religious people who can't seem to respect the beliefs of others should never experience. Where is the humility and being a good samartian that Jesus taught us?

How would they like it if they grew up in a predominately Muslim country and there were but a few Christian churches and people would discriminate them left and right because of their beliefs? Let's say that they'd continually come and emotionally antagonize you about Allah this and Allah that and to totally disregard you as a person, but a scum who doesn't deserve to be apart of them in the Human Race?

...

To me, it seems to be a spiral of confusion and hatred, a big mess. It's as if they want others to feel their insecurities so that if they are wrong in their beliefs, they are not alone. Or people just want the seats in their church to be warmed. The denominations can't even seem to find an agreement on the role of God, Mary and even what Jesus was crucified on....

Jesus... what an awesome guy. Who else would take the time to teach people and to unconditionally love them for who they are...souls trying to find their way? And He was condemned left and right, being called heretic and all that....only to help those who truly needed it. To me, Jesus was a Mystic, seeing the life and love of Spirit in all things, in every creature and every creation. He was able to see what truly lies within each person's spirit... the ultimate that makes up each and every being upon this earth. He didn't disregard people beause they didn't believe what he believes. And because He was able to see the core of each and every individual's being, He was a forgiving figure.

When will we learn to forgive ourselves so that we can forgive others? When will we shed our hatred and celebrate our differences? When will people become Christ-like as they have vowed in their churches?

But through all this, I don't hate the church go-ers, nor the people who adhere to that religion. Nor do I blame the religion. It's just that, sometimes our confusion between one another can be hurtful and we may not always understand or realize why it is so. It's like we expect people to understand where we are coming from, yet we never truly share what our beliefs and feelings are.

I just want to put some lyrics here by the Black-Eyed Peas that touched my heart when I first heard it.

Where Is The Love?

What's wrong with the world mama?
People living like aint got no mamas
I think the whole worlds addicted to the drama
Only attracted to the things that bring you trauma
Overseas yeah we tryin to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin
In the USA the big CIA the Bloodz and the Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And if you hatin you're bound to get irate
Yeah madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
You gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love y'all

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can you practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the love2x)

It just ain't the same all ways have changed
New days are strange is the world the insane?
If love and peace so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations dropping bombs
Chemical gases filling lungs of little ones
With ongoing suffering
As the youth die young
So ask yourself is the loving really strong?
So I can ask myself really what is going wrong
With this world that we living in
People keep on giving in
Makin wrong decisions
Only visions of them livin and
Not respecting each other
Deny thy brother
The wars' going on but the reasons' undercover
The truth is kept secret
Swept under the rug
If you never know truth
Then you never know love
Where's the love y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the truth y'all?(I don't know)
Where's the love y'all?

People killing people dying
Children hurtin you hear them crying
Can practice what you preach
Would you turn the other cheek?
Father father father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?(where is the lovex3)(the lovex3)

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm getting older y'all people get colder
Most of us only care about money makin
Selfishness got us followin the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting their young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what the see in the cinema
Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love, we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading us away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feeling down
It's no wonder why sometimes I'm feeling under
I gotta keep my faith alive, until love is found
Now Ask Yourself

Where is the love(repeat 4x)

Father Father Father help us
Send some guidance from above
Cause people got me got me questioning
Where is the love?

Now sing with me yall
One world one world
We only got
One World One World
Thats all we got
One world One world

Now,Theres somthin wrong with it(Yea)
Now,Theres somthin wrong with it(Yea)
Theres somthin wrong with the wo-wo-world

One world one world
We only got
One World One World
Thats all we got
One world One world

Spiritual Journey, More Than A Nutshell

2005-03-29T14:25:00.000-05:00

I've had a lot on my mind concerning my spirituality. It happens every year around Easter and the Springtime (time of renewal/rebirth?). I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior when I was about 10 in my cousin's church. But of course, at that time, I didn't even know too much about the Bible except what Jesus has done for people. The Bible stories and movies I've watched were fun to me and I enjoyed them. I was always the open-minded accepting type and I never shut doors to learning new things. I would say it's been hard for my parents to raise me the way they wanted because my mom said by the time I was two, I already had a strong personality and I already knew what I wanted to do. lol No matter how many times I've been yelled at or spanked or any of that, it never changed me. Stubborn Scorpio is what I'll always be...in my own little way.

Anyway, back to my spirituality (need to stop going off track). There have been so many changes for me. I've dabbled in this or that only to steer away from the rules and dogma and simply be me. It all started when I turned 15 and I was getting into philosophical discussions in English class. I enjoyed them because it gave me room to think and to find out where I stand amongst the crowds. I was always the spiritual type and so these constant discussions have excercised my brain so that I can learn to explore all aspects of myself.

I was always a very deep person. I don't know if it's because I was always a spiritual person or because I'm a Scorpio and we're known for being deep and mysterious. So when I learned about Egypt and their culture, it's interested me. It's a land of mystery. There are countless superstisions about their culture and the mere mystery for why they even went through so much trouble to mummify themselves as well as their pets have intrigued me. Around the middle of the school year, I had a dream that I was painting the face of a mummy. I remember how I stroked the brush, the entire feeling was one of reverie. In the dream, I knew it was Jesus and I knew that He told me to mummify Him. I woke up thinking it was such a strange dream. Little did I know it was to tell me what was to come.

About a few months after, I began rejecting God and going through the stage of denying God. Telling Him I hate Him and all that stuff. I was into the Egyptian traditions and found new Gods and Goddesses that are more willing to help me. I began learning about Kemetic faiths and picking up a few books. I bought the Book of the Dead in hopes to try to understand the meanings behind all their beliefs as well as a few other books. One of them had outlined step-by-step rituals of healing, good luck and more so I thought it would be interesting to try them. Of course, I didn't know what I was doing and it didn't seem to work. I guess it was my way of trying to get closer to the Egyptian culture. Egypt has intrigued me since I was a little girl and discovering this was like....wow!

I went to the discovery channel store and was happy to see a bunch of Egyptian figurines. I bought a box of five little ones, no taller than 3 inches. Combine that with the books and I got started on worshipping. About two months after I had another dream that a step-sister of mine began breaking these statues. Again, I woke up confused. A few months later, I rejected all of that stuff and said it wasn't for me. I didn't feel any real spirituality in it anyway.

So I was in spiritual limbo for a little while, not really doing anything but leanring about different religions. I stumbled across a lot of material that focused on angels, meditations, spirit guides, mediumship, chakra cleansing, etc. So of course, I went and bought some books. I bought books by mediums such as Suzane Northrop, Sylvia Browne (Gnostic Christian), James Van Praag and Doreen Virtue Ph.D. (the Angel Lady) and read some material on contacting your angels and Spirit Guides and glimpses of the afterlife. I tried the meditations and all, but I realized, I was too antsy and had a lack of concentration and patience. I didn't think I was ready for it. Around this time I was more accepting of Jesus and God and I began believing that God is God no matter what you call Him. God is a Spirit that cannot be boxed in any dogma. We created the dogma, God created us and everything else. This lasted for another few months.

Then I began feeling a little more deeper and connected to God. I will give credit to Doreen Virtue (She's a Christian Scientist BTW) and her books which taught me about prayer and how to pray. I've read her book The Lightworker's Way (along with others) and read about her spiritual story and growing up. I've admired her more than I've admired the rest of the authors I've read.

Through all this, I do not condemn any religion or it's followers. I realize that we are all in the same boat and we are trying to find our way in a world of uncertainty. We all make mistakes. I also do not think any of us holds the authority to tell others what they need to believe. You either believe it or you don’t. Belief is something personal, and unless you are asking for help or sharing a story amongst willing ears, it shouldn’t be forced. Different things work for different people. I've also come to the conclusion that God (which I frequently refer to as Spirit since I don’t believe God has gender although earlier I did so so people can understand) will help anyone who is willing to help themselves. I do not believe God discriminates against anyone, that's simply humans misunderstanding each other and what's going on around them. I believe everything and everyone has a purpose and it may not always be clear to us at the moment, but it is inevitable that we will understand eventually. I believe that prayer and meditation is a way for us to communicate with Spirit to help us get through things and to get things done. I believe in magic(k) which to me is prayer with action (instead of sitting on your knees), symbolic for working together with a Higher Power to achieve a goal either for yourself or others. I believe that the world will get better, but it will get worse first when we go through times of conflict and confusion. I believe that we can ask our deceased relatives/ancestors for help and allow Spirit to work through them. I believe Spirit is omnipresent (everywhere simultaneously) and living through each of us and seeing through our eyes. I believe that, inevitably, religion will either die down and people will simply be Spiritual seekers, or unite and respect one another and stop the ridiculous acts of discrimination and superiority.

So since this blog was originally meant for my spiritual journey, I’ll be sure to keep my posts leaning towards that as I have much more to share. Like I said, it's more than just a nutshell. I tried summing it up, but it got long anyway. I don’t know about you, but I like reading interesting things and not people complaining. You get enough of that at school, work and home. Lol So this blog will lean more towards spirtual. It takes a lot for me to come out spiritually and I think it’s time for inspiration.

Need....more....entries!

2005-03-29T14:10:00.000-05:00

I really need to post more often in this blog. One of the reasons I created one, my first one that's online, is because I needed to get back in the habit of writing. It's like it was something I did when I was depressed. Now that I'm not so depressed, I've got to keep at my writing. And at times, I get so lazy too and I feel awful. I've noticed it's becoming more difficult for me to remember how things are spelled and grammar and all that. That's totally not like me. And I really need to get back in the game of writing. Now I'm realizing that writing isn't like learning to ride a bicycle where you learn how to ride once and you know forever, I really have to keep at it...and reduce my Sim-playing time, that's what it is. lol I also need to get back on the ball with my drawing as well. The only thing creative I'm doing right now is redecorating my room. When I'm done, I'll post some pics for you guys.

2005-03-24T14:40:00.000-05:00

I've been bored lately...okay not really but I really hadn't had anything special happen recently. Oh, it snowed this morning. We've got over five inches. That pissed me off because I was ready for Spring. Spring came, and stubborn winter had to keep on lingering. And I was just commenting yesterday to someone about how these daffodils we've planted started coming up and now they're covered with snow!

I really do enjoy gardening and like I mentioned before, Spring is my favorite season. Everything is fresh and new. It gives me a better outlook on life. When it's winter, I'm grumpy, lazy and don't want to do anything but listen to music, go online and try to find ways to stay a friends houses during storms just to get away from the house. lol Anyway, I feel more alive when Spring comes around. I enjoy the sunny mornings when the sun pours it's golden rays through my window. I turn on some nice relaxing Celtic music to start my day and just look out at the beauty that's growing around me. I'm sorry, but I cannot understand how people can live without acknowledging beauty in it's simplest forms.

Easter is coming around. I'm excited about it. Each time around this year I scrounge around the house looking for movies on Jesus not knowing which one I'd stumble across. But this year, I know exaclty which one I'm getting, Mel Gibsons' Passion of the Christ. I don't know why people were so quick to criticize his movie. Both Christians and non-Christians alike liked it. And when people started calling Gibson names for making the movie so bloody... what did people think Jesus went through? Geez!

Anyway, I've got info on the origins of Easter and how it got it's name from various sources. Like I've said before, it's always good to know the history of the holidays you celebrate, you'd be surprised at what you find.

Origins of Easter (And traditions)
Easter: It's origins, meanings and practice (from religioustolerance.org)

I've found religioustolerance.org to be a good source of info when it comes to my theological studies. They tell it like it is and they try to use credible resources from the followers of the religions.

2005-03-23T11:04:00.000-05:00

The Goddess of Roses and Love. You are a hopeless
romantic. Always optimistic and loving, you
have many friends and you are exceptionally
trustworthy. You are a innocent beauty.

Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
You are the fairy of Fire! You are quite strong and
powerful, people look up to you greatly and
often seek your protection. You have the
ability to gain many friends. Not everyone is
capable of leadership but you certainly have
the willpower and flare to do it. Please rate
if you want to, it's just i spent ages making
this quiz.

Which elemental or seasonal fairy are you? (gorgeous pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a light angel! Very pure and innocent, you
are a great person to go to for a laugh. You
are really caring and can uplift anybody!

Which natural angel are you? (awe-inspiring pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

For the Love Of Music

2005-03-22T14:13:00.000-05:00

One of the things that upsets me most is when people can't appreciate music in it's many forms or at least be understanding that people like all kinds of music and that's why it exists. Maybe it's because I am able to appreciate most kinds of music. Anyway, my personal take is that a true music lover can appreciate all kinds of music. But of course, people have their own opinions which is fine too.

Anyway, I just want to introduce some albums that reflect a small portion of my eccentric taste in music. Mind you, I like anything and everything. You can click the titles to listen to the clips offered on the page it leads to.

Claude Chaloub by Claude Chaloub
Baduizm by Eryckah Badu
Mythos by Mythos
Eternity by Mythos
Reality of A Dreamer by Mythos
Putumayo Presents: Arabic Groove
Putumayo Presents: Asian Groove
Dawn of a New Century by Secret Garden
The Best of Vanessa-Mae

And of course much more. I can listen to anything outside of the genres that I've presented above and be happy with it. I like it when people introduce me to new music or music they like because it gives me a chance to expand and not be stuck in one place. I don't think I could ever be happy listening to one type of music all the time. Music also helps me appreciate the cultures they've come from.

Happy Spring!

2005-03-21T18:10:00.000-05:00

I know, Spring came yesterday and all, but I was so busy enjoying it, I didn't get on to post here. A few of my friends and I (all of us outcasts, that's right lol) decided to hang out and order pizza and eat cake with Easter and Spring symbols all over. We also listened to some Arabic and Greek music, which of course, we love all sorts of music so it was all good. (When I can translate the artists names, I'll post links to their sites lol) Then we went out and frolicked in the muddy feilds in our beautiful little town. (I'll post some pictures tommorow of the area, it's gorgeous) We visited the stream and the beautiful evergreens. I swear, I've never been to the place while it was wintery and cold, but it looked like all you needed was a few wolves and the picture would be the best mystical picture. It's really a nice place for us to have a little spiritual solace.

Me and my craziness with my religious studies. Studying religion to me is like studying culture (which I love doing too). And it's weird with me, not only did I want to celebrate Oestara (which is what we did) but I also wanted to celebrate Palm Sunday. I did nothing but remember Jesus, but to me, almost everyday is a celebration of life and the Spirit. And I anticipate Easter...it's one of my favorite holidays next to Christmas and Halloween. I plan on watching Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ. It is one of my favorite movies about Jesus.

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and saw he had some palm leaves given to him by a friend of ours. I wanted one! lol I actually wanted an entire branch to put in my room, but I didn't get that. :(

Yeah, I have a weird combination of spiritual friends, ranging from Pagans, Witches, Catholics, Protestants, Buddhists, etc. lol If only others can follow suit and know how to live in harmony with each others' differences...

Happy St. Patricks Day!

2005-03-17T07:35:00.000-05:00

Well, well, well, look what I found in my house! Teehee! St. Patrick's Day was never a boring day for me, even though I have no trace of Irish in my blood that I know of. You know, when I think Irish, I think playful. I really don't know. Never had a problem with Irish folk and I heard "they love everybody". lol

Oh well. Everybody have fun today. I plan on attending a little celtic music festival and enjoy a nice corned-beef dinner tonight.

Hasta Luego!

Oh yeah, people need to know history.

Life of St. Patrick

Confession of St. Patrick

It's always good to know why people celebrate what they do.

Sims 2 Uploads

2005-03-15T16:24:00.000-05:00

I think i'm going to go upload some of my sims right now. I guess they flush the system and get rid of some of the older stuff. Fine with me. Wanna see my uploads? Besides that, it feels like Friday to me. I really don't know why.

Quiz and Art

2005-03-14T17:04:00.000-05:00

I love taking these ridiculous quizzes, don't you?

Congratulations you have achieved level 4 witch
status... you have studied hard and learned
well!!

What Level of Witch are you
brought to you by Quizilla

How evil are you?

The Spiritual Element that has chosen you is Ice.
As a person, you are rather cautious and prefer
to keep yourself focused on the tasks ahead.
This is why most people tend to agree with your
views on things and never argue with you,
mostly. To you, Evil is just a task to overcome
and that tends to tick them off. (E.M.E: I like
your attidude. You must message me sometime.)

What Spiritual Element Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are the Spirit of Innocence. Always with the
sweet smile of a child, you know how to have
good clean fun, you have a natural vunerability
about you, which makes you able to make friends
very well, as they are drawn instinctively by
the urge to protect you. But even though you
look as fragile as a child inside you are very
strong with your easy look on life. When you
get a partner (because there is no way you
cant!) your life will be perfect.

Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
(Well, this one was a bunch of bull :P lol)

WICCA - Wicca is a joyous religion springing from
the kinship with nature. It is a merging with
the Goddesses and Gods, the universal energies
which created all in existence. It is a
personal, positive celebration of life.

What is Your Magick Path?
brought to you by Quizilla
(not Wiccan, but I'd like to keep to my Spiritual path :))

Celestial Faerie!

What Faerie Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Samhain (November Eve) - Beginning at dusk on
October 31st, when most celebrate Hallowe'en,
Samhain was the start of the Celtic new year.
Whole villages re-lit their fires from one
group flame, a bonfire, and left windows, doors
and gates open for the dead to visit. Grinning
carved turnips - Jack O'Lanterns, were placed
at the door to keep the more unfriendly spirits
at bay. Samhain (pronounced
"SOW-in," "SOW-ane," or
"SOW-een") is a night of remembrance
of those who have passed, who often join us at
our table for a meal. This is the most magical
night of the year.

Which Sabbat are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Anyway, I also wanted to introduce an artist I just discovered today. She's a digital artist and fantasy and gothic at that. Click her name to access her site.
Kate Dawizick. Have fun!

Your excuse isn't good enough

2005-03-14T16:43:00.000-05:00

This is ridiculous. And people wonder why they get so upset with the system. As some of you know, I'll been called to jury duty. From what I heard, I am being called basically to find out whether or not I am qualified to be on the jury for a case. Basically, "Can I make a decision?"

The reason why I am so upset is because I wrote them a letter stating that I was called during a planned family vacation and that I don't have reliable transportation...I don't have a liscense yet. I got the letter in the mail stating that they basically don't care and that they will give me my handbook on jury stuff 2 weeks before I am expected to appear. However, there is one last scape goat for me and that is to postpone to another date.

But you know what? Forget it. I'll just go. It's just that, I really don't want to be bothered with such things. I mean, I am put in a position to help the judge determine someone else's fate. Someone I don't even know (which might actually be better) I'm just hoping that I can count on the wolf as my guide. After all, this must be another lesson that's being presented my way and wolf isn't going to let me get outta this one. lol

I just hope nothing stupid happens. I really hate stupidity.

Prayer

2005-03-09T15:48:00.000-05:00

Wow, things have been taking root or uprooting or something. There is definately change going on. Afraid of losing an important person in my community because of her personal reasons. I feel bad even though I did nothing wrong. I will be sending massive prayers and energies of healing to her. She's going to need it. As well as lots of faith and strength to get through what she's going through. Something like that must be very crazy for her to go through and quite scary at that. Man, I wouldn't even want to imagine what she would be going through. I feel bad.

But yeah, I'll definately be praying. It's what I do a lot anyway. Although I may not do it how many people do, by kneeling down or folding my hands or the such. My everday activities with Spirit on my mind is prayer enough because a lot of the things I do, I devote to Spirit although it may not seem like it to many because most of the time, it's everyday duties. Prayer is not in all of how it looks to others, but what your intentions are. I think that's why in the Bible it speaks of keeping prayer in the closet or somethig like that (I forgot the verse). But I agree,although I don't read the bible all that much. Prayer, is a personal thing when it comes to yourself, but it's a great thing to pray with others for a common purpose. For example, praying that my friend gets better and things will be good for her. I really do enjoy prayer with others. I don't know why, but I think it's one of the greatest experiences. And to me, it really doesn't matter what faith you are, as long as when we pray together, we all have some sort of faith and we have a common goal. It helps to get the job done.

But I don't think prayer is something that works alone, although it does help to motiviate you. I think it's also good to work towards what you're praying for. Let's say that I pray to get good grades in school. I'm not simply going to pray and sit and hope by some strange occurance that my hands will move and I will begin to complete every assignment mindlessly. That's so foolish. It takes action for prayer to work and time and patience. Just like how people believe that God helps those who help themselves. That's what I live by, I'm one of those people.

Update

2005-03-07T18:22:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've updated this blog. Before, I was on it, but now, I'm just lagging. Part of the reason is because I'm actually busy doing this for college. I really hate the process. People ask me where I want to go and I tell them I don't know, and that I'm sending these applications as a gamble. lol

I also recently bought another print by the artist Rob Carlos. It's called "Reflection", click here as I do not have permission from the artist to post his stuff. Respect you know? Anyway, I'm really liking his stuff, and I am still in the midst of decorating my room. Even though I think I will be there for a few months more.

For the Love of Art

2005-03-02T13:30:00.000-05:00

I was discussing art with someone recently and they pointed out a piece of artwork from an artist by the name of Thomas Blackshear. You can check out some of his artwork here.

Here are a list of other African American artists. Awesome work huh?

I love art in it's many forms, whether it be dance, writing, music, a sculpture or something litterally on a canvas. I believe that art is one of the best ways to express the very being of our souls. My favorite kind of art is art that speaks of culture or spiritual art. I also like fantasy art. Every once in a while I think I will present a piece of art from an artist as I'd like to share my love of art in it's many forms with others.

Uh-oh?

2005-02-25T17:59:00.000-05:00

I open the mailbox today and there is so much mail for me. I remember being smaller and whining about not getting any mail. But now look. I got the mail and I don't want it. The first few things are college financial aid stuff. I'll simply pass that on to my mother seeing as she's the one that will be paying for most of it. The next thing that I see? A call to jury duty? I was like, "Aww man, why?"

So I called my mom and told her and she was like, "Oh my God that is something I've always wanted!"

I'm like, "What are you talking about? This is totally something I don't want."

And she proceeds to tell me how jealous she is of me. I just turned 18 for crying out loud (which is legal anyway). But oh well, the state has it's reasons. I have no choice but to reply to it or I can get into trouble. I don't think I would be good enough to decide someone's fate, that's why I really don't want to be appart of this. But again, another test of the wolf. Each day is a new day, hence another test of my wits or something of the sort. Besides, I can look at the bright side and see that it is a new opportunity for me. This is supposedly the arena of the Scorpio (law and dectiveness), and even better that I have a little Libra in me (scales of justice) as I was born on the cusp. Although... I don't get along with Libras if I get too close. lol

Halt

2005-02-22T15:00:00.000-05:00

It's been a few days since I've last posted. I think really, I need a break from the internet. I know, it sounds weird coming from me. Actually, a lot of weird things have been happening to me lately and therefore, I need lots of time for inner reflection. I mean, blog is cool and all, but there are things so deep, that I'm not sure I can even express in words (as much as I like to write too). I have a lot of talking with Spirit that I need to get done with before I move on. Life right now has seemed to halt, which is very weird for me because it seems my mind and emotions travel far quicker than time allows in reality. So I guess this is essentially a good time for me to just chill out with myself. No, I'm not going to abandon all opportunity for a social life. Yeah right, I get plenty of alone time, but normally with that time I'm playing games or listening to music or dancing or reading. But I've halted everything. So yeah, I'm going to take the time to get in touch with everything that's been on my mind lately. Meditation would be very good at this time. Wolf does wonders.

Sales have been going up and the community seems aroused, just as the waking of Spring around the corner (despite recent "storms").

2005-02-18T16:58:00.000-05:00

Again, I really don't know what to say for today. I have no crazy stories, no nothing. Except that I went through my day smoothly and that's about it. I'm a little sleepy though and it is quite early for me to be sleepy. I'm also craving an omlette and I'm trying to figure out what would be good to eat seeing as I had that yesterday lol and supposedly it isn't good if you have more than 2 eggs a week.
...
The community seems to be on the rise. How ridiculous for me to think that it would flourish during the time of year when things are dead. But I wouldn't get my hopes too high.

2005-02-17T16:57:00.000-05:00

I have virtually nothing to say. (no pun intended). Maybe I should go play Sims 2 or something. I've got some things I want to get done like get some foks married and start makin' kids! lol

I've been revamping this blog slightly, by adding a few blog goodies which are basically little rings online of bloggers. I guess it's good to get people to your blog and comment. But as you can see (if anyone is even here) that no one likes to leave comments in my blog. Like I'm not cool enough or something. lol Oh well, it's really not that important. The blog is a nice place to vent and reflect on the feelings and experiences of the day.

It's weird. I walk into my house today and I get the overpowering smell of some sort of Tangerine or something. Maybe it's because I wasn't the last one to leave the house for once and someone thought it would be nice to give it a warm scent by lighting a candle. Well, I'm not a big fan of citrus scents. I like stuff like lavender, that gives a nice relaxing, dreamy feeling. But that's me, that's something I always want. I don't know how many realize it, but I think my head can get stuck inthe clouds often. But I think the reason why people don't say anything about it to me directly is because normally I do it when the time is right. It can be a beautiful sunny morning and I can see the reflection of the rain drops from the branches of trees dripping. Or when I see a beautiful pond surrounded by forestry and greenery.

Random thought: I spoke to this lady today who was wearing a pair of earings. I asked, "Is that moonstone?" and she looked delighted and said,

"Yes, they're very magical".

I thought that was cute.

Small Reflections

2005-02-16T12:31:00.000-05:00

There are times when we all need a little hope to go on in our lives. Sometimes we feel that all hope is lost. That we've reached a dead end in our lives and that no matter what we do, we continue to dig ourselves in a deep hole that we can never get ourselves out of. Well, today is a day in which I've decided to take the time to reflect on the good things we have brought upon others as well as ourselves. This is a time I wish to take, to remember the good things that I have brought to others, whether it be a simple thing such as passing on a smile, to something more complex such as helping someone with a more personal problem.

It is this time that I want to take to reflect that. And with the flame of this candle and the little warmth it brings, shall it represent the small and subtle deeds that have brought warmth and happiness to others and myself. And as the candle burns should it's light touch others just as I have touched others.

In Light of Black History Month

2005-02-15T16:00:00.001-05:00

Shame on me for not even mentioning this wonderful woman earlier in the month. And shame on me for neglecting my own history in the process. For February of 2005, I've decided to read up on and check out the works of Lorraine Hansberry. Supposedly someone who I know was reading it and said I had a lot in common with this woman when it comes to her ideals and philosophies, but people like to say things just because sometimes. So I decided this will be my project for this month. The following are some links about her and some of her works.

Here is a short and sweet autobiography.

This one talks a littlre more about her play, "A Raisin in the Sun" as well as her life.

If you're interested in actually reading her stuff, you can get it at Amazon (linked to search query)

Or if you love ebay like me, you can get it here.

Left out

2005-02-15T15:24:00.000-05:00

Right now I'm craving a cookie I bought for lunch. I never eat all my lunch at the same time and it's never big anyway, only a 6 inch. Anyway, I'm gonna go get it.

What do you do when you haven't spoke to one person for so long only to find out that they were depressed and you're just not "cool enough" to confide in. I've never been accused to telling secrets, nor would I. I thought this person liked me, then I stopped by their blog to find out that they have not been feeling the greatest lately. Maybe it's because she realy wants emotional support and she must feel I'm too intellectual for that kind of stuff. Well if that's the case, in a way, she's right. Because sometimes I really feel as if I wouldn't know what to do. For example, if someone is in a rut and they just want to break down and cry, I wouldn't know what to do. I don't want to lie to people, but I don't want to resort to giving false hope. It's hard for me to bring up someone else's spirits.

But perhaps this person isn't my real friend. And if that's the case, oh well. I would say both of us lost because I think that we both have potential and that it could have been something.

But check this, I'm going off to school soon anyway and it seems that this person doesn't seem like the type that would last in a long distance relationship anyway. In a way, I think she may act as if she were her own Queen and that people would come to her if they really want to. I think that is a downfall of hers, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I don't like her. I think she's a cool person and someone who could help me loosen up some. I mean, we all have our flaws anyway, if we were all perfect living in a perfect world with no real substance, it would be kinda weird. Besides, I don't think it would last long because we'd probably be bored and resort to finding something weird to do....like convincing people to kill each other online at the same time. *rolls eyes* Like the fool in this story (Valentine's Suicide plot). *shakes head* I bet you that person was probably a genious. Most serial killers are. I think it might be because society does not cater to the needs of geniouses before they become serial killers. I think it's becasue a lot of the time society stamps down on individuality and self-expression. Society wants to do away with all things that have to do with the creative arts, poetry, good books, music of all kinds and not just a few genres. And if someone does not fit in with any of the categories of groups we've created in our thinking, they are immediately cast away and spat upon. Not only that, but there are so many prejudices that hinder us from moving forward, it is probably frustrating to get anything done these days anyway. If only we try to move forward and stop holding on to ways that would do more harm than help and be willing to accept new ideas, we'd be in a much better place.

There's a Valentine's Day for everyone

2005-02-14T15:05:00.000-05:00

I know there are many who don't have a Valentine, however, should that stop you from enjoying yourself? I went 16 years of my life without a Valentine. The past two years I was blessed. So you can't say I've never been alone, that's not true. lol Anyway, if you can't find someone to be with, there is always a group of friends where you can indulge in chocolate all night with. Have a little party for the singles or whatever. If it hurts so bad, do something you love to do or hang out with the people you love. If it makes you feel any better 1/3 marriages in the U.S. end in divorce anyway, so relax, it's not like your missing anything. lol As for the rest of us who do have partners, it can be a complicated thing to go through if you aren't willing to keep your mind open.

Anyway, for the intellectuals or the curious ones, you should check out a link on what the origins of Valentine's Day are anyway. It's very interesting and it isn't always what we have grown up to believe in anyway.

Valentine's Day- Religious Origins and Background.

A Dose Of Racial Stupidity

2005-02-14T15:04:00.000-05:00

Here is a little scenario for you guys, just to get a taste at what I go through.

I'm feeling a little annoyed as well as sad because of comments I heard while trying to do work at school. There were a group of guys talking about some movie I don't remember the name of. And some were saying they didn't like the movie but others were saying they liked the movie because of tits. Fine. I have no problem with that. But thne someone mentions something about there being a "black chic". And someone was saying something like, "Man, who wants to see those?" and another person in the group is like, "I don't mind. Besides, tits are tits." and another person goes on to say, "Well, you must be pretty desperate to see those".

Absolutely no consideration for my being there whatsover.

What the hell do you say to someone when you overhear such a conversation? It's a good thing it was time for me to leave because I wasn't feeling very good. So on my way out, I let the teacher know about it and told him who it was. I know a lot of these kids I'm with are on drugs anyway. Only a few of us are there because we actually don't like/don't do well in traditional schooling such as I.

That's ridiculous. And how narrowminded. Why would you want to limit yourself like that anyway? I mean, if you have your preferences, that's fine, but is it not best to simply keep such comments to yourself?

2005-02-12T21:32:00.000-05:00

Have you ever felt that no matter how loving you are and how much people say you are loving, that there are times when you hurt the people you love so bad, it makes you think twice about your true nature?

Well, I've been known to do that. I think it's that I really want to be compassionate towards others. I really do care about people. But there are times when I feel they have hurt me so much that I think they should get a tase of their own medicine immediately.

I think people are so complicated. And we Scorpios are the worst when it comes to relationships. We are the most complicated partners to have and I really do feel bad for those who end up with me. But I even feel sorrier for myself because of my sometimes complicated nature. I get so emotional and can quickly draw out the stinger and strike unexpectedly. How scary, that sometimes I think it's funny. But I guess that's when I don't care about someone so much and they've done so many things to hurt me, that it's hilarious to see them freeze in the face of their own wrath.

I've gotta get some sleep and stop worrying, another bad trait of mine. I have work really early tomorrow.

Hasta luego

2005-02-11T14:59:00.000-05:00

Don't have much to say except that I enjoy the things I've gotten recently. There are always ups and downs, but that's life and is to be expected. Activity in the community is going down, but things should be picking up soon enough.

...Wow, I really have nothing to say...lol I should probably go play Sims 2 or something. That will be fun. It can be so slow seeing as I'm trying to hook people up so they can grow up together. Sometimes I don't want to stop playing with one family so that I can bring up the other family. But it's something I gave myself to do and the rewards are always good so it's worth it. I like seeing people go along in the fmaily tree. It's cool looking at the resemblences of children with their grandparents.

But the actual scenario I set up for myself is so slow, only one of my Sims has died and I've been playing the game for months now. But then again, I have about 15-20 families and many people are growing up and not having spouses. when that happens I have to go make them one, build or download a house and figure out who is moving into what house. Then taking care of the baby alone can be quite a thing. Then while I'm doing that, I decide whether or not I want to bother buying clothes for the baby seeing as it's only a baby for 3 days. Then before you know it, it's a toddler. Then I try to figure out what skills I want it to excel in and try to focus on that. For example, if I want a kid interested in music and creativity later on in his life, I want him to be prepared, so I buy them a xylophone or something. By that time, I want to play with a different family.

While doing that I decide I want the parents to hurry and have another kid, maybe one to carry onth e family name. Then when I do that, a sim that I've forgotten about walks on the sidewalk or calls asking why they aren't friends anymore. Then I want to go play with that family. lol It's such a fun game...always setting goals for yuorself and your sims. And I get so into the game that if someoen comes in the room while I'm playing, I'll tell the person what I'm about to do or something and they'll look at me weird because I play with the sims by looking through their point of life, so I'm like God knowing the thoughts of everyone and everything and being everywhere at the "same time" (You start off where you left off when opening a house/family). It's so much fun.

Peace

Art obsession

2005-02-10T14:06:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been obsessed with art. I have plans to redo my enitre room taking down all the cut-outs from my room and putting up real nice beautiful fantasy art. When I'm done, I'll take pictures. But today I wanted to share that I received my signed "Dryad" print from Rob Carlos. You can view it here as I don't have permission to post his images. She's beautiful isn't she? I made a new hole in my wall for her to hang from. I hope my mom doesn't get mad. She knows I love art. And besides, I asked her before about doing this.

Another piece of good news is that I'm finally getting my first car. The bad news is, it's an old folks car and I'm not going to be too proud and showing it off either. It's a green '94 Plymouth Acclaim that I'm getting cheap from some old guy. God I'm gonna feel so stupid in front of all my friends. But hey, it's gonna be roomy in the backseat and we all know what that means. Seeing as my boyfriend is all into mechanics, he'll be available to help me with any problems I may have.

...this sux lol

Wolf, moon, stars and feather necklace

2005-02-08T14:07:00.000-05:00

Okay, yesterday I said I would get the picture of the necklace that I described. Well, here it is.

The following is the design of the bottom portion (the lowest when it falls from your neck)

And this is the actual wolf, moon and feather. It's a little blurry in the picture, but you get the drift. Isn't it beautiful? When I go back to the store, I'll ask the owner who made it.

Mystical Shopping

2005-02-07T16:38:00.000-05:00

Recently I went to a nice Mystical Shoppe just to "introduce" it to someone I knew. So I walked around looking. Of course the people there are very nice and aren't stuck up and don't say hello to the customers. Even customers say hello to each other even if they don't know each other. I know I have and I've received the same. Anyway, I was eying the jewelry because I wanted something new. I ended up finding a beautiful silver necklace with black moon and stars with lots of beads. In the center there is a wolf with a feather and moon. The moon is behind the wolf's head as it howls. The feather is apart of the circle that the wolf and everything is within. It's really interesting. I'd say the circle itself is about an inch in diameter...

Unfortunately, I'm not very good at describing this so I'll just show show a pic, unfortunately I don't have my digital camera today but I'll definately have it up tommorow.

Overhaul

2005-02-03T16:30:00.000-05:00

I couldn't wish people a merry Imbolc because blogger was down. I didn't like that. That's my first experience of not being able to access blogger that wasn't the fault of my computer! WOW!

Anyway, yes, Happy Imbolc for those who do celebrate. I've been doing some cleaning. I'm redecorating my room basically and I'm going to "install" lots of art instead of magazine cutouts. Some of them I think were really good because a lot of them were beautiful animal and nature scences from National Geographic, but I crave something different. So I was searching online for religious and fantasy prints cheap. I found some by some pretty good artists such as Tom Halverson and Rob Carlos. I've never heard of these artists. I've already got two prints. One of Jessica Galbreth's called "The Morrigan" and the other is "Captured" by Amy Brown. So soon enough I will be getting "The Last Tear" by Tom Halverson and "Dryad" by Rob Carlos. My room really needed a makeover. At least in my opinion anyway, others think it's such a comfortable place. Maybe they just sense the spiritual energy that I keep building up in there, but I think that place needs an overhaul.

So as some of you may know, I'm really cheap and all. It's a really good thing there is a discount store not far from where I live so I'll be very excited to check out some cheap pieces of decorations. As long as it's beautiful, it doesn't matter to me. Some people like their beauty to have material value, but I like mine to have a much deeper value than that. Art to me, is a chance to escape our reality and gives us room to dream. As long as we return back to reality and momentarily fantasize of places we can only visit during our sleep time I think we could be sane and alright.

Sales, Iraqi Elections

2005-01-31T17:05:00.000-05:00

Sales online have not been the greatest lately and in fact I have gotten frustrated. I do not wish to spend my own money to buy my own stuff. I want to use everyone else's, but I refuse to beg. That's ridiculous. I'm not that desperate, but I want to know that when I want to buy something, I'll be using the money from sales instead of the money I earn myself. I don't make that much simply because I don't have enough hours. It's slow around this time of year, but things will pick up when it gets to be around March. I still have 4 gift cards waiting to be used at bookstores. Since where I live there is a law against stores allowing cards to expire. We can use them whenever we want, but I've been looking for books lately...

Anyway, I'm kinda excited about the Iraqi elections, but I have a feeling democracy might not last long there. I think it's because the Iraqis need to be ready for democracy, it can't be shoved down their throats, they have to willingly accept it. Next thing you know, Bush is going to install faith-based community camps. I'm afraid that Bush's real motives are to evangelize instead of doing what needs to be done for the good of people. Religion is good if you know how to use it respectfully.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

2005-01-28T16:47:00.000-05:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

wink

2005-01-28T15:56:00.000-05:00

I am in the silliest of moods today. Don't ask why. I haven't consumed much sugar except for a small Iced-Tea and a chocolate-chip cookie. (which by the way, came directly out of the oven...melted) The manager of the store must have a crush on me or something because everday I get some sort of discount. Today he gave me two cookies, both for free and I didn't even ask for two but one! lol Men are ridiculous when it comes to women. They'll do anything. In a way, it's hilarious, but in a way, it's sickening. lol Oh well, the way women's beauty is portrayed in our society, I wouldn't be surprised in the recent uprise in lesbians. lol And to even funnier, most men enjoy watching lesbians! lol Men are so weak when it comes to women! I remember a quote from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The mother of the soon to be bride tells her daughter to not worry about her father's decision to get her to go to school. She said about household status, "Men are the head, but women are the neck. And the women can turn the head anyway they like". I think that's true in both a metaphorical and a literal sense.

But when will there be real male porn stars who are not all hairy and nasty?! lol I better stop before I hurt myself. lol That reminds me, I have to go eat the second cookie!

What Kind of Soul are You?

2005-01-27T16:00:00.000-05:00

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone.
Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people.
Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run.
No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way.

You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle.
Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings.
A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning.
You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Divine Whispers

2005-01-26T21:58:00.000-05:00

I swear, I don't really understand what is going on exactly, but I feel called to do a lot of things spiritual. It feels as if every once in a while, the Divine nudges me from within and says, "Here I am, embrace me and experience what I am...love". So every once in a while I get very spiritual for little or no reason. I wonder if it's because I feel another spiritual presence or it could be what I originally thought it was...Divinity within me awakening.

So I have another page open right now and I happen to scroll down to an image of a book called, "Embracing the Moon" by Yasmine Galenorn. Coincidence that the moon has been out lately and perhaps could be causing the rise in my spiritual emotions? Who knows? I don't even know if I want to be analyzing my spiritual emotions when I should embrace and celebrate them. I know there are others out there that feel what I feel. When will it be that no matter what tradition or religion you have come from, we will all pray together....like one human voice calling out to Divinity...whever this Divinity may lie.

Applying for schools...

2005-01-23T21:53:00.000-05:00

This sucks. I'm so afraid of the process of applying
to these schools. I'm afraid I have to go back and
live through my time at high school and explain all that
mess (it's really the average grades). I know I have to use some faith to be able to
get in. I don't even think I was this anxious when I
applied for my job! Right now I'm printing an
application to a liberal arts school. I used
to want to become a teacher, but not anymore. I don't
want to teach in a school anymore, but I still want to
do something to educate people, and I'm not sure what
that would be exactly. But don't tell me if you have
any ideas, I'd rather find out on my own. I'm also
afraid that by the time I get to college, I would lose
interest in wanting to be there very quickly.

If my life were to align with my emotions and what I
want, this would be my last year in college and/or I
would soon have my own house where I can decorate and
fill with art, culture and music...and have my dog
with me. But I have to wait millions of years to be
able to have this and this is not good. For once, I
have to have patience! lol

But I'm not too worried...deep down anyway because I
know that everything will turn out okay. (I could
really use "Legend" by Bob Marley just about now) As
long as I have access to my Sims and my V.C. Andrews
collection, I'll be fine. :(

Music Lyrics

2005-01-21T17:43:00.000-05:00

I personally don't like the use of vulgarity in music, so if ever I do listen to such, I ususally try to find the meaning behind the song. The name of the song here is "More 2 A Song" by DMX. I got the lyrics from seeklyrics.com I wonder what other people's thoughts are on the following lyrics. What does it mean to people to hear this piece by DMX.

[DMX]
Uhh.. c'mon!
[Chorus: DMX]

(Dog) It's more to a song than, jewelry and clothes
More to a niggaz life than, money and hoes
The game is a lot bigger than you, think you know
And if you think you know, then I don't think you know

[DMX]
Niggaz - walk around frontin (frontin) talkin bout jewels
(jewels)
how much you bust tools, y'all niggaz sounds like fools (woo)
Who you really think give a f**k how much your watch cost?
(mm-hmm)
How much your watch cost? You bout to get your watch lost
(aight)
If you flashin it, you must not want it
See I f**k with real niggaz that done it
You know what time it is, run it!
Niggaz got more important shit to deal with
Talkin about some 4 wheel shit
but my man here is about to kill shit (UH!)
Keep playin niggaz pussy, and you will get f**ked
Why don't you cop some more ice dog
then you will get stuck and f**ked
Bitch-ass nigga, hit my street
and see what happens to that iceberg when it's hit by heat (woo)

It want be a pretty sight, you and your pretty wife
Oh you must have forgot dog, this is the shitty life (aight?)
Ain't a f**kin thing sweet, and ain't nothing fair
Just another nigga dead, don't a motherf**ker care

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

[DMX]
Born and raisesd in the projects and can't forget it
And all that grimmy shit niggaz do, I done did it (uhh)
And I'm still wit it, nigga I stay in the hood
But when the cats is out, bet the dog, play in the hood
You keep bringin them fake bitches through
You gon' f**k around and make bitches do (WHAT?)
We take bitches too (aight?)
An if you comin through my block, it's gon' be the last stop
We blast tops, faggots couldn't make it to the stash box
(c'mon!)
Big ass rocks, I want that! F**k the blood
All that shit washes off, the next day I'm like, "What?"
Flossin yo' shit, what I want for yo' shit? (uhh, uhh)
Give a nigga like three bricks to feed the dogs with
Cause I ain't really gots to shine (Why?) When they do, I do
For me them niggaz'll hide you, where nobody'll find you
If you eatin motherf**ker, then your dogs should be eatin too
Not just four or five niggaz
Cause you know what the streets'll do

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

[DMX]
I will be the voice of the street til I die (die)
Cause I know if I keep my heart real, I'm gon' fly (fly)
Either let me fly or give me death; if you didn't catch it then
get it now, cause it's all that's left
And this will be the last breath (uh) provokin my niggaz (uh)
to start choking y'all niggaz (WHAT?) and smokin y'all niggaz
A nigga would never have to say, "X feed me!"
You'll never hear a nigga say, "X is greedy!"
Only, "X believe me! I didn't know it was a setup!"
Get up, cocksuckin motherf**ker, shut up
Shut up {*"pop pop"*} F**k you nigga
From the hood to the wood, f**k you nigga
This for my dogs, til death do us part
I'm still here, cause I been here from the start (aight?)
If I'm ever anywhere, anytime it gets ugly (WHAT?)
The dog is aight, cause I know the streets love me (grrrrrrrrr)

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

[DMX (speaking softly)]
Dog..
Jewelry and clothes..
Money and hoes..
Think you know?
I don't think you know..

Not One Damn Dime Day

2005-01-20T11:23:00.000-05:00

The following has been passed around in the emails lately...

Subject: Innauguration Day

Please read and forward to as many people as
possible.

Since our religious leaders will not speak out
against the war in Iraq,
since our political leaders don't have the moral
courage to oppose it,
Inauguration Day, Thursday, January 20th, 2005 is
"Not One Damm Dime Day" in America. On
"Not One Damn Dime Day" those who oppose what is
happening in our name in Iraq
can speak up with a 24-hour national boycott of all
forms of consumer
spending. During "Not One d-mn Dime Day" please
don't spend money.

Not one Damn dime for gasoline. Not one d-mn dime
for necessities or for
impulse purchases. Not one d-mn dime for anything
for 24 hours.

On "Not One Damn Dime Day," please boycott Walmart,
K Mart and Target.

Please don't go to the mall or the local
convenience store. Please don't buy
any fast food (or any groceries at all for that
matter). For 24 hours,
please do what you can to shut the retail economy
down. The object is simple.
Remind the people in power that the war in Iraq is
immoral and illegal; that they
are responsible for starting it and that it is their
responsibility to stop
it. "Not One Damn Dime Day" is to remind them, too,
that they work for the
people of the United States of America, not for the
international corporations and
K Street lobbyists who represent the corporations
and funnel cash into
American politics.

"Not One Damn Dime Day" is about supporting the
troops. The politicians put
the troops in harm's way. Now 1,200 brave young
Americans and (some estimate)
100,000 Iraqis have died. The politicians owe our
troops a plan -- a way to
come home. There's no rally to attend. No marching
to do. No left or right
wing agenda to rant about. On "Not One Damn Dime
Day" you take action by doing
nothing. You open your mouth by keeping your wallet
closed.

For 24 hours, nothing gets spent, not one d-mn
dime, to remind our religious
leaders and our politicians of their moral
responsibility to end the war in
Iraq and give America back to the people.

Please share this e-mail with as many people as
possible.

No school, more snow

2005-01-19T16:55:00.000-05:00

It's snowing again. Individual schools instead of school districts have been out because of loss of power or broken pipelines. Crazy huh? I don't mind not having school, but then again, I don't want to delay graduating.

...I'm bored.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

2005-01-17T17:02:00.000-05:00

Yay! It seems things are picking up once again in the community! Woo hoo! Soon, it will be like how it once was before...prosperous and in full bloom!

Anyway...I'm starvin'. I just had Chips Ahoy Cookies and lots of milk. Right now I'm checking out some sites on Native American history and beliefs... I don't even know where to start! There are so many tribes, like so many nations...there are too many to choose from! Everytime I go to one place and see a list of names of tribes, I get all...overwhelmed because it's like a whole new world out there. They don't teach us this stuff in school, nothin!

Anyway, getting down to business (having trouble winding down today lol) today is the day Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday is observed in most states in the U.S. (His real birthday is January 15th for those who don't know.) Today I lit a candle and reflected on what I have done to bring peace into my life and into others. I also got to listen to his speech being spoken by a few members from both the Boy's choir in NY and the Girls choir. When one person would say a few lines, it would trail off and another would begin. It was very nice. I have a candle that has his image...here, I'll show you.

And this is the back. It has highlights of the "I Have a Dream Speech" .

Relaxing and Tarot

2005-01-16T15:50:00.000-05:00

Once again, I'm kinda bored, but not really. I think I just want to chill out and relax with some nice ambient music, run the bath water with some Blue Moon Hibiscus bath salt. Then I'm gonna light some nice candles and relax. Then I have two tarot readings to do for two different people. This is going to take all my energy away, but whatever. I like helping people understand things and help them live their lives better.
If you're not exactly sure why people ask for Tarot readings, it's normally because people just want to get a different perspective on a problem or situation so they can try to make better decisions or "make their best move". It's a divination tool people use to ask God, Goddess or whoever they worship or acknowledge to help them understand. Normally, I ask:What is it that I should know about____? Normally this allows a more accurate reading, in my opinion, because you aren't asking for a definate answer. The cards and their meanings are very general so that it allows for you to think about their meanings and how it applies to your situation. even if you don't believe in the tarot as a way to contact the divine, it gives you a set of cards and meanings for you to try to asses your problem. So either way, yuo really can't go wrong. All the readings I have done (according to the feedback I've been getting and my personal experience) have been very accurate. This is probably because I am very sincere about what I'm doing. I do what I do because I want to help people. And I don't wish to just help people through tarot, I barely even use my deck! Nor do I think tarot is always the answer. That's another thing, when people use divination tools, they expect an exact answer.

For one in my opinion, you have to be able to think abstract very well in order to understand what is being conveyed to you. Even with the book and everything, it still requires a lot of thinking. So in reality, you're the one doing the assesment on yourself, not the cards. Tarot to me is like reading a book. The words and sentences are there, but you have to understand what each word and sentence means in relation to the story in order to truly understand it.

Anyway, enough babble about cards and symbolism.

2005-01-14T18:06:00.000-05:00

Ridiculous. I am not in the best of moods today. I did a little somethin' with graphics today for fun and to kill time. It came out pretty good, but parts of it I wasn't imporessed with and decided not to fix. Which is fine with me for now anyway.

I'm cold and hungry. Yesterday it was fog enough that I couldn't see across the street. All throughout last night it was terribly windy, very warm and rainy. All 1 foot piles of shoveled snow was gone today. The temperature was expected to go from about 50 degrees to 20. On my way home I saw it was sleeting. And now, the ground is sprinkled with snow. Isn't that crazy? All this crazy weather all over the world...someone trying to tell us seomthing. lol Maybe it's Mother Nature punishing all the fools who haven't taken proper care of her. Whatever happend to "Honoring thy mother and father?" (Okay, maybe not everyone sees how the Earth seemingly has a "fruitful and nurturing" aspect to it.)

2005-01-13T16:50:00.000-05:00

It is very foggy outside today. I guess it's because we went from 30 degree temperatures to 50 degree temperatures causing condensation. Basically, it's the warm air sweeping over the cool earth. I can't even see my neighbor's house which is across the street and the street isn't even that wide! Looking at the fog, especially over the white snow makes me want to go to sleep. There were idiots outside driving without their lights on. And I'm not talking about a select few, nearly half the drivers outside I've past didn't have their lights on. Ridiculous.

2005-01-12T17:37:00.000-05:00

Well it worked for a while. The community became active again, a few days after I prayed and raised a little energy for it to happen. It's nice to live a life full of magic and wonder. It's nice to know that the universe is willing to help you when you need it.

Right now I'm looking at someone's artwork right here. I liked the picture of the face looking upwards. To me, it reminds me of hope and faith. The process of learning and growth, looking up for help, guidance and even divinity. Why is it that we look up for help? I wonder if Atheists look up for help.

2005-01-10T17:54:00.000-05:00

My highlight for today? Getting new leather boots off of ebay for $6...plus about $5 shipping, but the overall cost is nowhere near wasting the gas money to go to an expensive mall to buy the same leather boots new for a much higher price. Now I'm waiting for a book that I ordered about a week and a half ago... I know the person is being a little lazy because I know it only takes a few days for the book to come, especially if you live in the U.S. But it's not really bothering me...for now anyway, but I have no problem giving the negative feedback they deserve if I don't see that thing sometime this week!

On another note, if anyone cares to know how the meditation excercise went with my dog, let's just say that I didn't end up doing it. Instead, I petted him for a few moments, and then went to go play Sims2. lol

2005-01-08T21:20:00.000-05:00

Man, I feel tired. Maybe it's b/c I've been online all day or something or what..who knows? I'm surfing the web right now learning about Jack Russell Terriers...I have one. But he isn't like most other ones, he's very calm although he does get a lot of attitudes. lol I think it's funny though. He's such a small dog but with such a big personality.

...I'm so tired... I don't even know what to write...hmmm...lol

I had a very strange dream and I keep faintly remembering it and then it goes away. It's so difficult. It's awful. Normally I can remember my dreams very well, but I think it's because I haven't gotten up right away this morning, instead I just laid there. Maybe today is one of my lazy days.

I burnt some nice smelling inscense today and played some nice New Age/Ambient music. That calmed me down after I got worked up over people's stupidity. Then I played sims2 for a few hours and then got online and put up some stuff for ebay and then went back to sims and online to check ebay sales. Both things are on two different computers. And walking to my mailbox and dancing for an hour and half was my workout for today....just plain lazy.

Now I want to meditate with my dog and develope our spiritual awareness... weird or what? But he doesn't seem to have too much of a problem with it. The excersice is relaxing for both of us.

ebay freak

2005-01-07T16:42:00.000-05:00

I think I've literally become an ebay addict. I've been making a decent amount of money with the online sales...but... I spend it right back up. It's awful because I originally made the account to make money, not spend it.

But if we really want to think about things, I would say that I have not touched my own money because I spend just as much money as I make. So it's even, it's like I get everything for free! But then again, we have the monthly bill consisting of little fees such as putting a gallery picture to be seen in the searches or simply a listing fee. Then you have a paypal fee, for everyhing you sell, paypal takes a very small percentage. So I try to balance all that out and try to figure out how much money I need to make and how much I'm allowed to spend without getting into my paycheck. But recently after the holidays...I found the power of the "Buy It Now" button. I had to brace myself because I started losing money. Hey, just because I'm a cheapskate, it doesn't mean that I don't let loose every once in a while...but this while has been a long while. And I'm not liking it.

So... I've decided I'm going to have to earn my right to buy. From now on, I have to make a certain amount of money on ebay during the week to to be able to spend on something unecessary and for my pleasure. I really hope this works out. There are so many goodies on ebay. So I'm just goign to do a little "window" shopping on ebay. Looking at all the goodies I want to have, but can't. I've put higher demands on my selling and try to squeeze the penny when it comes to those fees. Although mine aren't that bad (more like someone's pocket change), but I know those things add up.

All I have to say is, whoever invented ebay was a genius.

If God Had Voicemail

2004-12-29T11:41:00.000-05:00

Here is something funny I got in my e-mail.

If God Had Voicemail

Thank you for calling heaven.

I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1.
Jesus, press 2.
The Holy Spirit, press 3.
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, press 4.

To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his or her social security number followed by the pound sign. (If you get a negative response, please hang up and try area code 666.)

For reservations in heaven, please enter J-O-H-N 3:16

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.

-Submitted by: Beliefnet member Resonance

Happy Kwanzaa!

2004-12-26T18:32:00.000-05:00

In 1966, KWANZAA was created by a young visionary living on the west coast who was also the founder and chairman of the Black Nationalist Organization. Dr. Maulana Karenga, a trained political and cultural scientist and a participant and theoretician of the Black Liberation Movement, postulated that significant and meaningful Black movement in the U.S. was improbable, if not impossible, without a cultural component (base). He felt that at the base of any movement must be the cultural imperative that give the people a clear and precise sense of "idenity, purpose and direction."

From Afrocentric News

You can learn more about the customs and ceremonies at The Official Kwanzaa Website

2004-12-26T18:26:00.000-05:00

The holidays were wonderful this year. I got to spend time with some family. We all exchanged presents and everything was just dandy. People complimented on my decoratons around the house and everything. I received clothing, books (V.C. Andrews) and inscence. I'm not really in the mood for writing today...sorry folks. I'd rather enjoy the "toys" that I recieved. It seems I've been really good this year.

As for the person I meantioned in which I wasn't sure to give a gift to. I never went through with it. And I'm glad because she never called or emailed me to wish me a happy holiday or anything. Wondering what I'm talking about? Just check the post titled, "Tis the season to be giving...right?"

Which Tarot Card Are You?

2004-12-21T18:35:00.000-05:00

Which tarot card are you?

Merry Yuletide!

2004-12-21T17:36:00.000-05:00

Merry Yuletide to everyone and I hope people enjoy their holidays. I feel bad, I forgot to wish the Jewish people Happy Hanukkah even though it was last week. How stupid of me. Nonetheless, I wish many a blessed day. Be sure to enjoy everyone and everything!

Tis the season to be giving...right?

2004-12-14T20:36:00.000-05:00

I love the holidays, but the shopping drives me nuts! I never know what I want to get people for the holidays. I mean, I know the thought counts, but I like to give things to people. Everytime I give, it feels as if I'm giving them a blessing. I like doing things for people. But I am also very weary of who I do things, for, especially if I know the person. If I know that they would do something harmful to someone or if they seem selfish period, I wouldn't get them anything. Here's an example:

There is this one girl I've recently met over the summer. She seemed like a really nice person. She seemed to share a lot of my spiritual views and I thought it was cool that she wanted to be friends with me. I saw her as a potential friend. One who would be there for me spiritualy and one who would be there emotionally if ever I needed anything. She even offered this when I hung out with her one day. She was such a cool person. She took me to beautiful places in nature where we would one day read books or do spiritual things or simply to appreciate the beauties of nature. Well, who was to say that although this seemed so promising, there was a different side to her.

I really thought she wanted to be good friends, but not sooner after I've met her and opened up to her has she simply left me dangling wondering "why?". It started with the e-mails. I can understand if you've got nothing to say, but goodness, when did she plan to stick with her promises of hanging out and celebrating our spirituality? The last e-mail I got from her was about a good time to come pick up her cds that she let me borrow. I immediately replied, knowing that she was currently online and said, "right now if you'd like".

Well, I didn't get a reply back so I assumed she was on her way over. Wrong. I haven't heard from her after that in over a month. But a few days ago, she mysteriously appears at my doorstep asking for cds she let me borrow on her birthday...the day we opened up to each other. Or at least I thought we did. So I gave them to her. She asked if anything has been new in my life. I told her "no". But truthfully, I'm making plans with my other friends which she too has simply dropped talking to. And we're going to get together for a grand holiday celebration with egg-nog and present exchanging. She acted dissappointed but I didn't think she was. Then she said nothing new has been in her life, "That sucks, we both have nothing new to tell each other".

Then I asked her how a friend of hers was doing and she said that they've been hanging out almost everyday. It struck me that whenever my other friends would ask her if they could hang out with her, she'd say she's grounded, but that night she told me she was hanging out with one of her other friends almost everyday. This girl and all my firends live in the same freakin' town, but she travels almost 25 miles a day to go see someone else? I'd have no problem with that if she at least dropped an e-mail or something. I've got nothing.

So then she invites me to hang out with her for the next coming holiday because I told her I wasn't doing anything. I said, "I don't know, maybe". I knew she wasn't going to contact me. She wanted to get together for Samhain. She told me on my birthday, which is a week before that she'd hang out with me on Samhain. I never got an e-mail from her nor did she call me. So I wasn't going to take her word for it this time. And if she really was sincere, she would have called to cancel plans or something.

This web of lies she's created around herself is spinning tighter and tighter around her. She says she cares so much about her religion, but she really only cares about material things and her singing career, which by the way, could move a lot quicker if she really was serious about it. You cannot be doing something like this for months and months and only get one song done. Her goal; she wants to be famous and wants everyone to love her. That's it. But she doesn't seem to be very serious about either. And like I said, it's not like she doesn't have time for her friends, she hangs out with this one kid nearly every single day. So how could she possibly be working hard on her music career or her fall-back career which is skating. She has a beautiful voice and I'd love to be friends with her, but I don't think she knows how to have a friendship and it's such a tough decision for me. Should I try to be friends with her or should I simply let her go? Maybe she doesn't realize what she's doing which brings me to my next point. Should I even spend my money to buy her a gift? For her birthday I bought her a giftcard to a store that I thought she might like. I come to find that she doesn't like the religious store because their not "richy enough" or they're "low class". So when my birthday came rolling around, she said she bought me a present from that store. I could only imagine I bought that gift for myself as she could have used the gift card I gave her to buy me a gift. And she always complains she's broke...

Talk about spacey people

2004-12-02T17:04:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been trying to rebuild relationships with people whom I haven't spoken to in a while. Well, talk about spacey people, now I know why I haven't talked to people in a long time. There was this girl I was interested in seeing if I could get together with for Yule/Christmas because I know we have a hard time getting together for the holidays. She walked up to me in school the other day. She acutally surprised me. She seemed so radiant. She seemed very beautiful. I was thinking that things were going good for her and so I wouldn't be stepping into any random drama with her and other friends. Since I was pressed for time, I promised to call her later that evening.

So I did. She talked constantly about her boyfriend of a few months, a kid I knew nothing about. She kept talking about how she wanted to do certain things and he would have his own strong opinions about what she'd want to do. Regardless of how she felt about it, she would go along with what he thought would be best. And she'd always comment on how he'd make her feel bad by acting depressed if she didn't make the decision he thought was best. Since it's been a while since I spoke to her I didn't want to voice my opinion and make things go sour after not speaking to her for so long. I wanted to say how she should just do what makes her feel right and if he protests and doesn't like her for it, then he's not right for her. But she "loves him so much and they both depend on each other". When I heard the word "depend" from her on the recieving end of the phone, I felt awful for her. Is a relationship really about dependency or experience and growth?

She also mentioned how some of her friends would comment on the fact that she hasn't spoken to them for a while and even weeks at a time! I mean, I have no place dictating to her how she should treat her friends and how she should enjoy her relationship, but I wanted so badly to help her. I don't know all the details of the relationship, but I at least wanted to ask her what she felt the purpose of a relationship. However, again, I haven't known her in a while. I mean, was it selfish of me to not say anything because I didn't want to ruin a possible friendship? I thought it was a tough decision, but if I wanted to get close to this girl for a friendship should I have at least acted as a friend? Was it weak of me to keep my mouth shut? I dedicate a lot of my time helping people help themselves and I felt it was a tough time to bring something like that up in our first real conversation in months. Or was it even a conversation because all we talked about for nearly an hour was this kid I don't even know?

What Is Your Inner Shapeshifter?

2004-11-23T20:57:00.000-05:00

The Indian snake creature known as the naga was
believed to reside in groups apart from normal
humans, and many legends tell of their secret
citites hidden deep in the jungle, underground,
or underwater. In many tales, the naga is often
of royal lineage, or sometimes even divinity.
Nagas are often associated with water, and it
is said that they can control the weather.

As a naga, you possess strong leadership abilities,
you are highly intelligent, and you can also be
a bit intimidating. You also enjoy the finer
things in life and like to be pampered, and
you're not too keen on mixing and mingling with
the unwashed masses.

Who is your inner Shapeshifter?
brought to you by Quizilla

Which Woman of Beauty Are You?

2004-11-21T19:10:00.000-05:00

Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

Earth, from deep within

2004-11-19T15:00:00.000-05:00

Impart to us those vitalizing forces
that come, O Earth, from deep within your body,
your central point, your navel; purify us wholly.
The Earth is mother; I am son of Earth.
The Rain-giver is my father; may he shower on us
blessings!

-Rig Veda

The holidays are here!

2004-11-18T17:49:00.000-05:00

I am so excited about the upcoming holidays! For me, it is a time to gather 'round with all your best buddies and family and bake cookies and make the house look gorgeous and best of all, sing together! I found some Yule Carols. So I suggest everyone memorize these words if you want to add a slightly different tune to your holiday celebrations. :) At school for Thanksgiving next week, we are going to have a big celebration. I'm not really a big fan of Thanksgiving as it is more like Thanks-taking. I wonder what the Native Americans feel about the holiday. Some would say, "Why complain when you get the day off from school?". I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing out a fact. I mean, what justifies kicking someone out of their home and then you holding a feast over it?

Beyond Reflection

ROSA LOUISE PARKS | 1913-2005: Good-bye, Mrs.

Quick Survey

Happy Birthday

"I Was Just About To Call You..."

First Angel Reading

Sweet Induglgence

Quiz Time!

Psychic Experiences

Damn, How I've Been Wasting My Time...

Tarot: Not Draining?

Artist Discovered!

Still Skeptical

Weird Things

A Miracle in the Mystical Shop

The "Dark Side"

Update

Court: No Ten Commandments in Courthouses

Skipping Cases of Missing Minorities? What?!

Just Blame PMS

Just Blame Christianity

Eye of Horus

Meditation

Ankh

Spiritual Gardening

Is It Humane?

Are They Paying You To Wear That?

Humans and Animals: A Special Bond

No, This Not the Star of David

'Bewitched' statue plan bothers, bewilders

Spirit Photos

Holocaust Rememberance Day

American Idol...going down the drain

Atheists Can Help The Religious Too You Know

Gold Digging at Wendy's

Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Follow-Up

Quizzical

Communing With Spirit in Music

Forgiveness

Nature's Role in Spirituality

Fun Quizzes once again...

Book Questions

In Memory of Pope John Paul II

Church Guilt

Spiritual Journey, More Than A Nutshell

Need....more....entries!

For the Love Of Music

Happy Spring!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Sims 2 Uploads

Quiz and Art

Your excuse isn't good enough

Prayer

Update

For the Love of Art

Uh-oh?

Halt

Small Reflections

In Light of Black History Month

Left out

There's a Valentine's Day for everyone

A Dose Of Racial Stupidity

Art obsession

Wolf, moon, stars and feather necklace

Mystical Shopping

Overhaul

Sales, Iraqi Elections

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

*wink*

What Kind of Soul are You?

Divine Whispers

Applying for schools...

Music Lyrics

Not One Damn Dime Day

No school, more snow

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

Relaxing and Tarot

ebay freak

If God Had Voicemail

Happy Kwanzaa!

wink