Spiritual Journey, More Than A Nutshell
I've had a lot on my mind concerning my spirituality. It happens every year around Easter and the Springtime (time of renewal/rebirth?). I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior when I was about 10 in my cousin's church. But of course, at that time, I didn't even know too much about the Bible except what Jesus has done for people. The Bible stories and movies I've watched were fun to me and I enjoyed them. I was always the open-minded accepting type and I never shut doors to learning new things. I would say it's been hard for my parents to raise me the way they wanted because my mom said by the time I was two, I already had a strong personality and I already knew what I wanted to do. lol No matter how many times I've been yelled at or spanked or any of that, it never changed me. Stubborn Scorpio is what I'll always be...in my own little way.
Anyway, back to my spirituality (need to stop going off track). There have been so many changes for me. I've dabbled in this or that only to steer away from the rules and dogma and simply be me. It all started when I turned 15 and I was getting into philosophical discussions in English class. I enjoyed them because it gave me room to think and to find out where I stand amongst the crowds. I was always the spiritual type and so these constant discussions have excercised my brain so that I can learn to explore all aspects of myself.
I was always a very deep person. I don't know if it's because I was always a spiritual person or because I'm a Scorpio and we're known for being deep and mysterious. So when I learned about Egypt and their culture, it's interested me. It's a land of mystery. There are countless superstisions about their culture and the mere mystery for why they even went through so much trouble to mummify themselves as well as their pets have intrigued me. Around the middle of the school year, I had a dream that I was painting the face of a mummy. I remember how I stroked the brush, the entire feeling was one of reverie. In the dream, I knew it was Jesus and I knew that He told me to mummify Him. I woke up thinking it was such a strange dream. Little did I know it was to tell me what was to come.
About a few months after, I began rejecting God and going through the stage of denying God. Telling Him I hate Him and all that stuff. I was into the Egyptian traditions and found new Gods and Goddesses that are more willing to help me. I began learning about Kemetic faiths and picking up a few books. I bought the Book of the Dead in hopes to try to understand the meanings behind all their beliefs as well as a few other books. One of them had outlined step-by-step rituals of healing, good luck and more so I thought it would be interesting to try them. Of course, I didn't know what I was doing and it didn't seem to work. I guess it was my way of trying to get closer to the Egyptian culture. Egypt has intrigued me since I was a little girl and discovering this was like....wow!
I went to the discovery channel store and was happy to see a bunch of Egyptian figurines. I bought a box of five little ones, no taller than 3 inches. Combine that with the books and I got started on worshipping. About two months after I had another dream that a step-sister of mine began breaking these statues. Again, I woke up confused. A few months later, I rejected all of that stuff and said it wasn't for me. I didn't feel any real spirituality in it anyway.
So I was in spiritual limbo for a little while, not really doing anything but leanring about different religions. I stumbled across a lot of material that focused on angels, meditations, spirit guides, mediumship, chakra cleansing, etc. So of course, I went and bought some books. I bought books by mediums such as Suzane Northrop, Sylvia Browne (Gnostic Christian), James Van Praag and Doreen Virtue Ph.D. (the Angel Lady) and read some material on contacting your angels and Spirit Guides and glimpses of the afterlife. I tried the meditations and all, but I realized, I was too antsy and had a lack of concentration and patience. I didn't think I was ready for it. Around this time I was more accepting of Jesus and God and I began believing that God is God no matter what you call Him. God is a Spirit that cannot be boxed in any dogma. We created the dogma, God created us and everything else. This lasted for another few months.
Then I began feeling a little more deeper and connected to God. I will give credit to Doreen Virtue (She's a Christian Scientist BTW) and her books which taught me about prayer and how to pray. I've read her book The Lightworker's Way (along with others) and read about her spiritual story and growing up. I've admired her more than I've admired the rest of the authors I've read.
Through all this, I do not condemn any religion or it's followers. I realize that we are all in the same boat and we are trying to find our way in a world of uncertainty. We all make mistakes. I also do not think any of us holds the authority to tell others what they need to believe. You either believe it or you don’t. Belief is something personal, and unless you are asking for help or sharing a story amongst willing ears, it shouldn’t be forced. Different things work for different people. I've also come to the conclusion that God (which I frequently refer to as Spirit since I don’t believe God has gender although earlier I did so so people can understand) will help anyone who is willing to help themselves. I do not believe God discriminates against anyone, that's simply humans misunderstanding each other and what's going on around them. I believe everything and everyone has a purpose and it may not always be clear to us at the moment, but it is inevitable that we will understand eventually. I believe that prayer and meditation is a way for us to communicate with Spirit to help us get through things and to get things done. I believe in magic(k) which to me is prayer with action (instead of sitting on your knees), symbolic for working together with a Higher Power to achieve a goal either for yourself or others. I believe that the world will get better, but it will get worse first when we go through times of conflict and confusion. I believe that we can ask our deceased relatives/ancestors for help and allow Spirit to work through them. I believe Spirit is omnipresent (everywhere simultaneously) and living through each of us and seeing through our eyes. I believe that, inevitably, religion will either die down and people will simply be Spiritual seekers, or unite and respect one another and stop the ridiculous acts of discrimination and superiority.
So since this blog was originally meant for my spiritual journey, I’ll be sure to keep my posts leaning towards that as I have much more to share. Like I said, it's more than just a nutshell. I tried summing it up, but it got long anyway. I don’t know about you, but I like reading interesting things and not people complaining. You get enough of that at school, work and home. Lol So this blog will lean more towards spirtual. It takes a lot for me to come out spiritually and I think it’s time for inspiration.
Anyway, back to my spirituality (need to stop going off track). There have been so many changes for me. I've dabbled in this or that only to steer away from the rules and dogma and simply be me. It all started when I turned 15 and I was getting into philosophical discussions in English class. I enjoyed them because it gave me room to think and to find out where I stand amongst the crowds. I was always the spiritual type and so these constant discussions have excercised my brain so that I can learn to explore all aspects of myself.
I was always a very deep person. I don't know if it's because I was always a spiritual person or because I'm a Scorpio and we're known for being deep and mysterious. So when I learned about Egypt and their culture, it's interested me. It's a land of mystery. There are countless superstisions about their culture and the mere mystery for why they even went through so much trouble to mummify themselves as well as their pets have intrigued me. Around the middle of the school year, I had a dream that I was painting the face of a mummy. I remember how I stroked the brush, the entire feeling was one of reverie. In the dream, I knew it was Jesus and I knew that He told me to mummify Him. I woke up thinking it was such a strange dream. Little did I know it was to tell me what was to come.
About a few months after, I began rejecting God and going through the stage of denying God. Telling Him I hate Him and all that stuff. I was into the Egyptian traditions and found new Gods and Goddesses that are more willing to help me. I began learning about Kemetic faiths and picking up a few books. I bought the Book of the Dead in hopes to try to understand the meanings behind all their beliefs as well as a few other books. One of them had outlined step-by-step rituals of healing, good luck and more so I thought it would be interesting to try them. Of course, I didn't know what I was doing and it didn't seem to work. I guess it was my way of trying to get closer to the Egyptian culture. Egypt has intrigued me since I was a little girl and discovering this was like....wow!
I went to the discovery channel store and was happy to see a bunch of Egyptian figurines. I bought a box of five little ones, no taller than 3 inches. Combine that with the books and I got started on worshipping. About two months after I had another dream that a step-sister of mine began breaking these statues. Again, I woke up confused. A few months later, I rejected all of that stuff and said it wasn't for me. I didn't feel any real spirituality in it anyway.
So I was in spiritual limbo for a little while, not really doing anything but leanring about different religions. I stumbled across a lot of material that focused on angels, meditations, spirit guides, mediumship, chakra cleansing, etc. So of course, I went and bought some books. I bought books by mediums such as Suzane Northrop, Sylvia Browne (Gnostic Christian), James Van Praag and Doreen Virtue Ph.D. (the Angel Lady) and read some material on contacting your angels and Spirit Guides and glimpses of the afterlife. I tried the meditations and all, but I realized, I was too antsy and had a lack of concentration and patience. I didn't think I was ready for it. Around this time I was more accepting of Jesus and God and I began believing that God is God no matter what you call Him. God is a Spirit that cannot be boxed in any dogma. We created the dogma, God created us and everything else. This lasted for another few months.
Then I began feeling a little more deeper and connected to God. I will give credit to Doreen Virtue (She's a Christian Scientist BTW) and her books which taught me about prayer and how to pray. I've read her book The Lightworker's Way (along with others) and read about her spiritual story and growing up. I've admired her more than I've admired the rest of the authors I've read.
Through all this, I do not condemn any religion or it's followers. I realize that we are all in the same boat and we are trying to find our way in a world of uncertainty. We all make mistakes. I also do not think any of us holds the authority to tell others what they need to believe. You either believe it or you don’t. Belief is something personal, and unless you are asking for help or sharing a story amongst willing ears, it shouldn’t be forced. Different things work for different people. I've also come to the conclusion that God (which I frequently refer to as Spirit since I don’t believe God has gender although earlier I did so so people can understand) will help anyone who is willing to help themselves. I do not believe God discriminates against anyone, that's simply humans misunderstanding each other and what's going on around them. I believe everything and everyone has a purpose and it may not always be clear to us at the moment, but it is inevitable that we will understand eventually. I believe that prayer and meditation is a way for us to communicate with Spirit to help us get through things and to get things done. I believe in magic(k) which to me is prayer with action (instead of sitting on your knees), symbolic for working together with a Higher Power to achieve a goal either for yourself or others. I believe that the world will get better, but it will get worse first when we go through times of conflict and confusion. I believe that we can ask our deceased relatives/ancestors for help and allow Spirit to work through them. I believe Spirit is omnipresent (everywhere simultaneously) and living through each of us and seeing through our eyes. I believe that, inevitably, religion will either die down and people will simply be Spiritual seekers, or unite and respect one another and stop the ridiculous acts of discrimination and superiority.
So since this blog was originally meant for my spiritual journey, I’ll be sure to keep my posts leaning towards that as I have much more to share. Like I said, it's more than just a nutshell. I tried summing it up, but it got long anyway. I don’t know about you, but I like reading interesting things and not people complaining. You get enough of that at school, work and home. Lol So this blog will lean more towards spirtual. It takes a lot for me to come out spiritually and I think it’s time for inspiration.
posted by ScorpionTear at 2:25 PM
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